Saddam's dead, so now the world is a better place? Right?

Arghh! I wrote a lengthy blog just now and it went kapuff! Drats. Now I have to recall all the nasty things I wrote and write it back. Sheesh.

Luckily it's Aidil Adha, or Eid ul-Adha. Just seein the millions of pilgrims in Mecca is an extraordinary sight. The time when we remind ourselves that race, tribe, wealth and physical are nothin in the eye of God. Such a teary feelin inside. What a blessin.

Oh, before I forget, my answer fer the question above is just a simple "no". The world aren't gettin any better. Heck no. Mixed feelin fer sure. Such a disrespectful act to kill someone, be it criminal or not on Eid. I'm shocked, yes. I'm still shocked. Not because Saddam was sentence to death but by the day they execute it. How much disrespectful can they get?

Surely some will be happy about it. I know Bush and co. are. Funny though, Saddam was their closest ally in the war against Iran. The US gov backed Saddam to waste and kill young Iraqis and Iranians men in the shameful Iran-Iraq war. Hundreds of thousands of people died in that war. But not a single blame came to the US gov. Why? Because the US President is untouchable by any law? Because they're the beacon of democracy? If this is what they call a 'democracy', then I don't know what differences it has from dictatorship.

Maybe Saddam deserve it. But he's not the only criminal there is. What about the unlawful invasion of Iraq masterminded by Bush and co.? What about the lost lives of innocents and destructions that came with it? Wanna talk about 'fair trial'? Then put Bush and all the war-mongerin US Presidents in court too damn it! So tell me he's not a criminal too! To me, what he did was as filthy as what Saddam did to the Kurds back then.

I wonder why the Iraqi's court made such a rush execution fer Saddam. So I smell somethin fishy. We know US gov have influenced the whole trial process. Maybe the execution was done so quickly to avoid the known US-Iraq history of alliance uncoverin somethin more vicious than we could ever think possible? Yeah we know Saddam was backed by US gov in Iran-Iraq war. Think about that.

So Saddam is dead. But US Invasion regime is still in Afghanistan, US Invasion regime is still in Iraq and US gov policy will still allow the murders of Palestinian by zionist regime. More body counts, more dead innocents. The main picture will still be the same.

I'm tired, I didn't manage to recall many of the things I wrote earlier. Ah. Politics. Hate em but I'm in so much anger I just can't help to write about it. May we all be in the blessin of God and in His protection. World peace is not just a word to say or write. Later.

Too early for a new year's wish? heck who cares.

Hello. Happy holidays fer those who's enjoyin it. New year is just around the corner. Maybe not 'that' corner but it's close enough. Soon it's be the year 2007. Well well. Feels like there's so little things I've actually done this year. Wonder what I've left in the year 2006. I guess there's lots of it.

I'm currently in the office. Yeah look at the time there. Not workin at this hour but I wanted to use the internet so here I am. Feels like I need to write somethin fer this blog-o-mine. I got somethin to tell just now so just let me refresh my memory fer a sec huh.

Right now I'm unsubcribin meself out of a few FreeBSD maillist. The lack of time to check my mail has resulted in repeated bloats of emails in my account. Sheesh. As I'm not that active in emailin in the group (like I've ever been active before.. Hah!) and the fact that I can conveniently search the archives on the net, it was an easy choice fer me to unsubscribe. I'll get my new and shiny FreeBSD machine soon so I'm not forgettin FreeBSD at all.

So what's new fer the upcomin new year? Me? Nothin much. I still owe a few people a glass of teh tarik / nescafe etc. etc. so I can't just move on just yet. Haha. Well I think we can delay the TT session fer later huh Isman? Yeah not forgettin a few of my old friends. Ah pewek, so are you just goin to have an empty blogspot account without any blog whatsoever? Sheesh. At least change your blogspot profile frequently so there's somethin dynamic everytime after the frustration of not seein any blog in your profile.. hoho.

My buddy, the ex-guitarist of malefactor & mental phobia (heck it took me a while to recall the name of this old band of mine... bah!), the one and only Dept is finally gettin engage. Didn't get any details on that since he didn't give me any information and I just knew about this engagement thingy from Bobby. I'm not quite sure when the date is but I'll find out about it later. Wishin him all the best.

Speakin bout bands, Fractured will go fer a recordin next year. Yeah I know I've been sayin this sorta things fer lotsa times already but heck I'm wishin it's to be true too! Fahmi said he has found the best studio fer his drums track and fer audio mixing. The only problem now is to collect enough money to fund it. Still crossin my fingers on this.

I'm not sure if my bass track will get recorded in the near future, at least not around the next 6 months because I'll be stationed far from the boys soon. Not somethin that I want to but somethin that I had no choice but to obey to do. Heck. Sacrifices to fund the recordins. One way or another.

I'm gettin this pimples everywhere on my face. Damn! Nearin my 29th birthday, feelin older everyday but my face is turnin into somethin that a teenage boy would be in. Darn pimples. I don't know why it's comin out at this age. Sheesh. Now I have no choice but to put some Oxy on my face every night. BAH! I FREAKIN HATE PIMPLES. Not that I never had any but this time it's like I'm leavin highschool. Don't believe it? Believe it.

I have this feelin that I just can't cut my hair short. My face will get oily and I'll get this pimples if my hair is short. Heck I'm have pimples now and that's the reason, that's the reason why I can't have my hair short! But bosses just wouldn't agree with me. Hoooooo.

Enough with that. I'm tryin to upload my latest pic so prepare fer the nasties. Chow.

Just a Raya thingy.

Hah! Just an update to show that I'm still here and lack of time to write anythin fer this blog-o-mine. Anyway. I know it's a bit too late to say Selamat Hari Raya but heck I just said it. I guess the spirit is still there somewhere.

My raya is not bad at all. My foster family took me to many Raya trips throughout the Raya season. My sisters came to see me so it's good although I got no place to call my hometown now. Got to fill my stomach with lotsa 'nasi himpit & kuah kacang' and not forgettin 'kuih batang buruk'. Yum!

Uh.. got nothin to say right now coz I'm at the office. Got a football match comin soon and I'm the goalie. Hah! Later then.

How's everybody?

Bah. I thought of somethin before I opened this blog editor. Now it's gone. Kapuf. Sheesh. Well that ain't the 1st time anyway. So what am I gonna talk about today? Uhm. None actually. I thought I'd write somethin, even if it's nonsense just to make it clear that I'm still alive. I'm still here somehow. Hah. I exist!

We're halfway through the Ramadhan now. Yeah Raya is very much around the corner. Ok maybe a few more corners. Guess everybody's busy gettin ready fer the festive season huh? As fer me. I bought buttons fer my baju melayu. That's it. Hah! I still don't have the mood to go Raya shoppin. Neither I feel the need to get meself a new pair of baju melayu. Not last year, not 2 years ago. I don't quite sure about this year though but I'm pretty sure it'll be the same. Maybe I'll just wear that baju melayu I wore fer my friend's weddin. Maybe not.

Speakin of friends. Heck where is everybody? Shah has gone MIA. Heck mating season never ends or what? :D. I guess bein married is "hard" fer him. Ah. Puasa Karl.. puasa.. jangan lebih2.. Hehe. The last words I heard from him was "We'll go out fer a drink sometime huh?" a few days after his weddin. And it's been months now. Hehe.

How are you other guys? Isman? You there? Long time no news huh bro? Eh I know it's been a while since I last log into any messenger but it's my "free" wifi thingy.. It sucks. :/. How bout you Momoe ;) ?. Guess things are doin great huh over there in Japan? Bebehz? How are you? Hehe yeah I know I never came to any invitation you sent me, sorry bout that but heck we'll go out fer a drink sometime huh! *uuu now where did I heard that before... fer a gazillion times already?*

Ok let's see who else.. My bandmembers.. They're fine I guess. Been a long while since I last went to Seremban *yeah now it's "went" instead of "goin back" because now Seremban is no more my hometown. *sob*. Who else? Ah pewek. I have this feelin you were the one who left a comment on my previous post. I might be wrong so "maaf zahir batin" if it's not you :D. Jangan bukak periuk jek pagi2 hehe. Let's see who else.. Uhh.. Hmm.. Aaa..

Ok so I don't have that many friends. I'm thinkin bout some kind of get together someday. *someday?! someday?! Heck you've been sayin the exact thing fer.. let's see.. uncountable times already? Pfftt*. No this time it's real hehe. Sittin with my old friends. Sippin drinks and talkin nonsenses. Lookin at some booties. Hah. That'll be great huh? Well it's just the matter of time. Just tungguuuu.

It's weird to be from not havin any idea to writin half the pages away. Heh. I should've been a writer of some sort. Anyway, hope you guys will enjoy the festive season *hey puasa is a festive season too ya know?* and may it be as awesome as you want it too. Anyone have a seat fer me this comin raya? I can use someone's "kampung" to temporarily be mine *now that's supposed to be sad..*. Hah! Later.

Happy fastin.

Hola. How's your puasa been goin on? Mine's fine. Except fer a few days ago, the 2nd day of fastin to be exact. I vomited my stomach out just right before imsak. So I was left with an empty stomach fer the whole fastin day. It was somethin I ate a day earlier. I guess it was the junk food. But fastin is still fun and I'm glad mine is not yet broken even fer a single day.

Pasar Ramadhan or the Ramadhan Bazaar. Ahh. One of the nicest place. It took me a few days to find the best place with the best food. People say the bazaar(s) here is not as happenin as last year. I don't have a clue because last year I'm not livin here yet. It's ok although I miss my old place Seremban.

The food here is good too. Not forgettin the girls. Hah! One of the time that we can see (most) girls without their makeup.

Talkin bout food. I guess I still have this syndrome of buyin many food and ended up eatin just a few of it. But this year I'm spend my money more wisely. Still I have the rambang mata when I see all the choice of superbly delicious food on display. Yum. Makes me want to point my fingers at those food like a drunken cowboy.

I also noticed that my appetite has sunken dramatically this fastin season. I ate a plate of rice 2 times per day. 1 fer berbuka and the other fer sahur with the latter, thanks to my abang angkat who call up every mornin, remindin me to come to his house fer sahur. Except fer yesterday mornin where I speak on the phone while sleepin. So I missed a sahur. Heh. Wonder how much weight I'll lose this year. Enjoy your puasa folks! Later.

Fastin month is back!

Ramadhan is back. The sweetest month is here again. Happy Ramadhan to all you muslims. May this month bring us closer to our Creator.

This is my 1st time fastin in Puchong. When all my friends were back home, enjoyin their 1st Ramadhan with their families, I'm here all alone. Ah well. At least I have my foster brother's family here. How's Ramadhan here? It's ok I guess. Because I haven't leave this home since 'sahur'. Haha. The weather is not bad though. Not as hot as the previous Ramadhan.

Hmmm, so what am I gonna have to break the fast today? I'm thinkin bout my seasonal's favourite = 'Ayam Percik'. Hot rice and that alone is enough fer me. Yeah sure some 'kuih-muih'. Some? I have this bad habit of pointin at all the nice lookin 'kuih' my eyes can see and ended up not eatin any of it later. At least on previous Ramadhan, I can count on my nephews to take care of all the food. Now I have to make sure I don't buy unnescessary food. Bah we'll see in another few minutes when it's time to go to 'pasar Ramadhan'.

Ahh. 'pasar Ramadhan'.. One of the most happenin places to go. Haha. Good food, nice lookin girls around. What more can we hope fer aye? Well I'm not quite sure where's the 'pasar Ramadhan' here near my area so I better ask around.

Changed my car's oil filter and engine oil by meself yesterday mornin. Early in the mornin. I even polish the car and guess what? It rains in the evenin. Heh. Now that I know how to change the oil filter and engine oil, it'll be more cost-savin fer me.

Look at the time. Well well, I better get ready fer a 'pasar Ramadhan' invasion. Later then.

Hello world... ? *I'm still alive*

I was about to blog somethin today. Errr, supposed to be 3/4 hours ago but I was stuck with games. So I guess that can wait fer another day. How was everythin? Somethin is ok, and somethin is, uhm, somethin else. Been a potato couch fer a few days and I think I survived because of this laptop-o-mine here. Without it, I might be dead. Dead bored. In another few weeks or sooner, you guys can be sure that it'll be super rare fer me to blog anymore. No the owner of this wifi's hotspot didn't know I've been 'borrowin' her internet access, yet, but I'll be busy with the new job. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe I'll be busy with the new job but still be bloggin like usual. Or maybe I'll be busy searchin fer another new job. Or maybe my new job will be bloggin about somethin. I'd write more here but I guess this is enough fer now. Later then!

Stepped down from duty, skinnin my head & Happy Merdeka Day Malaysia!

Got a problem with 'BlogThis!' just now. Stuck with an endless cycle of loggin in(s) and word verifications that made me thought I'm THAT old and forgot my password. Bah!.

Anyway. Still stuck with doin this old job even when I've officially resigned my duties. Pfft. "Have to cover the jobs until the new guys start their duty". Whatever. It's not that I don't want to. But heck, I've resigned and everytime I go out there, got my ringgit burnt unnescessarily. Such a waste. Still, I'm doin the job until I can be sure that I don't have to. Really sure. Just make sure the claims are on time because on-the-field works are tirin. And I've resigned. Yeah I know I'm repeatin meself.

Here I am, sittin in the office probably fer the last time. Not wearin a TMNet T-shirt because I thought I've resigned. Yeah I did but actually not. So I have this new order that I have to entertain. Bah. Where am I workin next? Still with the same company but with different job. Not about Streamyx at all. Hurrah! No more grumpy customers, ridiculous call center and inadequate paycheque. This is what I call Merdeka!

I'm cuttin my hair short today. Mebbe a bit later. It'll be more to 'skinnin' my head rather than cuttin my hair. I remembered that hairstyle when I was a kid. In fact I was forced to skin my head until I was in form 3. Now I'm *cough*old*cough* and *cough*wise*cough* and I'm not sure how I'll look like in that fashion. Maybe like a rejected cast fer Prison Break. We'll see.

Happy Merdeka Day you all! Be proud to be Malaysians. Think of all the great things we have here. I'm sure we don't need to look hard fer it. Although some of us will easily forget. Selamat Hari Merdeka! Later.

34,000 fer Fractured (In my dream..) & chess fer headache.

I had a dream last night. Fractured was called to play a gig, or I think it's more to a big concert somewhere in KL. On the flyer (Ohhh the flyer is soooo cool..) they even print a statistic of a sort that shows how much crowd the specific band can bring into the concert. How much did we get? Around 34,000. And we were the 3rd lowest in all the 7 (or maybe 8) bands listed. Bah. So it's not a happy dream I know.

What else is new? Hmm. Nothin. Just sharin my dream. Hah!

Ok I had a date arranged a few days ago by my 'abang angkat's family. Pfftt I know I'm hopeless but I never knew I was THIS hopeless. Somehow it's good to know that there are people who care. Don't ask about the date because I won't tell. Currently that's not too important.

So what is important anyway? My band! Arghhh! I just realised that it's been too long since I last practice with the band. Last 2 weeks they jammed without me. 3 piece without the bass AND vocal. My bad. How bout this week? I think I need to go back to Seremban. This songs kept playin in my head and my bass keep buggin my sleeps, tellin me to practice, practice and practice.

Bobi brought his guitar so now it's much easier fer me to practice by meself. Hey it's not my fault fer the late reaction but I can't just practice with my bass without any amplifier can I?

I have to stop fer now. Got this headache on the left side of my head. Sheesh. Had a few game of chess last night and it was a long while since I played that. Haha. Later.

Lazy day & Momoe's bloggin.

Well, well. What's been happenin in my world lately? Uh, not much. Still bored with work, still stuck with no impressive social life. My head itches because I guess it's still tryin to adjust with the length of the hair. Tryin too hard I think. My bass is startin to collect dust due to my laziness to practice. I'm still stuck with a blank page in writin fer Fractured new lyric. The theme is there, somewhere in my head but I just can't get my pen scratchin.

Momoe (Ah now she have a url accompanyin her name huh.. hehe :P) has started writin blog nowadays. Hear ye, hear ye. Well, you go girl! Hope that you'll just write whatever it is and fer sure it'll be worth it. You can find her link on this blog's 'Blog Brothers/Sisters's link.

Today is one of those lazy days. I'm feelin lazy. And I like it. Ah there might be a slight turn in my life again. And this time it'll give a far greater effect to the course of my life. No, not marriage, uh not even an engagement. It has nothin to do with that. it's just somethin about ... WORK! Bah!. Later.

Cut my hair.

I took a few pictures of me yesterday. Heck I want to upload the pics but the camera's USB cable is missin. Soon I hope. It was the picture of me with my long hair a few minutes before I cut it short. Yeah now my hair is very short. I never knew my hair was so long when I saw the pictures. Hah.

If you see my small picture of the right side of this blog, you'll know that's kind of what I look like now. Maybe shorter. I don't know. I'll take a picture soon hopefully.

Plans, plans, plans. Let's see.. Okay Fractured was suppose to prepare fer recordin this month. Well we're kinda ready but late. Later.

Heart of glass...

Shattered. If a single sms will cost about 10cent, it only took about 30cents to break me. Somehow this feelin I got since last few days was right. Somehow. All this years of bein hung, without a rope; just ended. Maybe bein happy is too much to ask. For it hasn't been granted yet to me. Not eternally.

The relationship I had with Intan just ended. Just like that. No voice, just textual notification. Like a bright light, it all seems so clear today. I don't need to make meself easy anymore. I'm just unwanted. Just like that. I never got the chance to know the real reason. Except fer things like "I have a new commitment for my future and my family" which I don't have the energy to decrypt. It can mean anythin, not that I'm not interested in knowin, but the main thing is clear; the relationship ended.

I waited fer years just to know it'll end today. Like this. In my current situation. I lost the people I needed the most one by one. One way or another.

I wonder why she don't want to say it. Voice it. Say it to my ears. I can unshamely say that I'm hurt and frustrated.

When a woman is loyal, it's true love. When a man do that, they say it's stupidity. So yes I might be. Depends on your perception. Some may rejoice, happy that somehow I failed, again. Some may share the same pain I have. I just don't care.

I will still love her. Maybe forever. I'm hurt, yes, but I can never forget the good things we've experienced. The feelin of this somewhat pathetic love will consume me. I don't know. Let it be. To ease myself, I have to hate her. For which I can unshamely say I know that I can never have the heart to do so. I just don't have that strength.

May you be happy with whoever that lucky man is. No worries, I will never be a competition to him. If you somehow read this.. I just don't know what to say. Just be happy. For someday, I hopefully will. You are special.

I was ready to meet her father. I was ready fer a commitment. Was my wish too much to ask?

Longin to hear her voice...

It's been a few days since I last talk to her on the phone. The last time we talked, it was already a few days since the 2nd last time. Honestly, I miss her very much.

Her phone went kaput so there goes our daily chat. So, it's a torment. After years and years of separation, I had to do what I've been doin fer ages. Wait. And wait. I don't blame her though. I know her current condition. I know it'll be hard fer her to contact me 1st by lookin at her condition.

Still, this is drivin me nuts. Thinkin bout how long it'll take to talk to her again. I feel like I want to drive to her place but I'm not sure if it's the right time. Her father is unpredictable. I wanted to call her mother's mobile, I did the last time we talked but I don't want to bother her mother with this.

I wonder if she feels the torture like I'm feelin right now. Does she misses me like I am to her? Honestly, I'm not too sure. Because I don't know how women feels like deep inside. I've been like a loonie since a few days ago thinkin bout this. Arrghh! How I want to hear her voice so bad. If only she knows it.. Fortunately she doesn't read this blog of mine.

Ever since my father died, I'm gettin more and more lonelier. It's like that everybody else is a stranger. No, I got it wrong. I guess it's not the right word. It's like everybody else still have someone else who's more important in their lives. And fer sure they all have. As fer me, I'll just be with meself. This is the reason why I'm dyin to talk to her. But the situation is kinda not on my side.

Maybe my emotions is not yet stable. I don't know. I think so. I guess it's gettin more and more frequent to see me write some sentimental things in here huh? Ah well. Later.

My father passed away.. Al-Fatihah.

I never knew the visit to my father's house last Sunday was the last time I'll see him alive. My father died yesterday on 22nd June 2006 around 2 in the evenin. He was 56.

Like a fate, now I know why I urged myself to visit him last Sunday. Although the car have problems and I was kind of broke, I feel like I must go there no matter what. I'm still in shock.

A part of me is relieved, because he won't have to suffer anymore. I know he was in a lot of pain with the tumor. I saw the bulge on his left skull when I bath him today. It'll sadden me more if he still suffers. And a part of me think that it's too soon. It's like this is too quick. But then, God knows best. He knows what's good fer His subjects.

Deep inside of me, I'm happy because I had the chance to lower both of my parents into their graves. My late mother and today, my father. It does break me, when I put each of them gently into their graves, thinkin that it will be my last time to see their faces. The faces that molded mine. Because I'm more close with my late mother, I never thought that I'll broke in tears when I see the face of my late father. But I did. I guess that's who I really am. Deep inside of me, I'm really a gentle person.

I've lost my grandparents, my lovely mother and now my father. It all seems too soon. But I have to live with that. Nothin can bring them back. All I must do is pray fer their journey in the afterlife. All I have now is my sisters. How do I feel? I don't know. Mixed up fer sure. Life is like this. Nothin is certain in this life accept fer death. Everyone will die someday. So I have to make a good use of it. I guess I said enough. Thanks to my friends fer your condolences. Thank you fer readin.

Al-Fatihah to my grandparents and especially to my parents:

- Zulifah Bt Hj. Idris (My lovely mother. 28th January 2003.)
- Zulkiffli Onni B Abdul Ghaffar (My father. 22nd June 2006.)

Mom, dad, you know I love you. So much..

Later.

Visit my father, next her father & heat chronology, radiator revisited.

Last Sunday me and Intan went back to my father's house. It was an unplanned trip but I'm glad to have done it. When we arrived, my father was sleepin and under medication. He's thinner than the last time I saw him and I feel very sad to see his current condition. Although we rarely speak to each other and all, my heart breaks to see him suffer. I didn't get the chance to hear him speak to me that day. I don't know if he can even remember me in his current medical state. It's not that important though because I will always remember him. He's my father.

Intan is well received in my father's house. My stepmom and her seems to get along quite well in a short period of time. I know when we'll meet my sisters soon, she can cope with all of them just fine too because my family is just plain simple. It's good fer her and unfair fer me because she have an easy road but I have to face her father soon. Not a bad thing at all but that's gonna be hard. Maybe in next month though because I didn't cut my hair yet. Hehe. I need to take a self potrait before that too. Am I ready to face her family? Well, her kid sister and brother still remembers me although the last time they saw me was eons ago. I guess her mom will recognise me when she see me too. But I never met her father, not even once but I do know that her father is unpredictable and mostly 'kepala angin'. Why is this your problem? I don't know. Maybe because you love readin my blog so much? ;).

Like I've said, I think I'll go and meet her parents next month. Whoa, I'm nervous even when just writin about it. Her father is so unpredictable that even Intan herself don't know when is the best time fer me to meet him. I mean, when his mood is very very good. That man have this speculation that her daughter is probably with somebody but he don't know who. Her mom saw me a few years ago and knows that we're in a relationship again now. So that leave the man who's the only person I need to impress. Impress how? I don't know. Fer sure I don't want to get vetoed out. It'll be fine as long as he don't hate me. Hehe. If he say somethin like "I don't like that guy" then I'm in trouble. I guess we'll just have to see.

I brought my car back from the workshop last Saturday and that's when I planned to go to Seremban. It was so sudden that disasters will surely happen. And did. Changed the timing belt and the water pump. But because I was late on pickin the car up, my plan to go to Seremban was delayed to Sunday. Imagine askin her to get ready around 6 when it was nearly 7 that I was on my way to the workshop to get the car!

Then on Sunday, I noticed that the temperature was up again. This time it was more nerve breakin. Imagine gettin stuck in KL's traffic jam and the temp went up nearin the red bar. Crazy. New water pump and the temp went crazy again? This is nuts. When I did arrive near her house, I quickly check the engine and what did I found? Great, the fan went dead. Sheesh. It was then I was forced to rethink about the plan to go back to Seremban.

Thank God the weather was not that hot and it rains slowly in KL. So I made up my mind and tell meself to just go fer it. Lucky me after hundreds of call, 2 of my Seremban's friends will take a look at my radiator's fan when I arrive. So it was up to me to make sure that I can get to Seremban safely. Again, thanks to the cool weather and a stop at the Seremban's R&R (not to mention drivin below 80km/h.. Bluergh..), we made it safely.

After we went to my father's house, we went to Alon's to get him to check the radiator. He suggested that we take the car to his friend's workshop so we did just that. Looks like the sensor was out so the mechanic had to make a direct connection fer the fan. Seems like the fan was ok after all. Now the fan will never stop swirlin as long as the ignition is on. Good job fer a temporary solution. On our way back to KL, the temperature was up again, although now it's not that how. Darn. Highways is the best place to torture test your car.

So yesterday my 'abang angkat' pull out the termostat (if I got it right) and now it's gettin better. Not that hot still not as cool as I wanted it to be either. Still need to service the radiator because it's been ages since I did that. Eh. Wait. I never did that. Heh. I still need to go out and test it on a highway to be sure. Soon baby, soon. If the temp went up again, I'll put a refrigerator inside. Later.

More 'work' blabberin & car in the workshop.

Bleurgh. This 15 days has been quite of a hell. Work! What else!. The first time I managed to get less than 20 installation per cycle. How much? 6! What the.. Less installation means less income. Duh. Money money money.

Whoa. I slept while I was composin this blog. It's now 10 in the mornin. I guess I'm pretty tired with all this activities I've been into this past few days. So now that I've successfully slumbered through the writin of this blog, I forgot what I was thinkin yesterday.

Today will be quite a busy day. Hopefully I can make up fer last 15 day's loss. Like the last 15 days, it's not that the job I have is only 6, I have many installation's appointment but many of it is just a waste of time. Still the same birocratic problem. DSL line not jumpered etc. And when the place to go is far, it really wasted my time. Big time. Not to mention that some popular area has turn slow on the demand. It's one of those time.

Enough with that. My car is still in the workshop, changed timing belt, repaired the radiator etc. It's completed but I have no time to take it back home. Maybe today. Been a while since I drive that car. Accordin to the mechanic, the heat problem is gone. Hurrah! Now I can drive it fast like the old days. Later.

The face I wanted to see.

I met her in person again yesterday. After all this years, seein her again is like we just have a date last Saturday. All the hardship of bein seperated fer years just disappeared. No ackward feelin at all. Her appearance didn't change at all. Still that face, still that same smile. And I still have that tingly feelin like the last time I met her. Fer a moment, I was speechless, tryin to believe that she is in front of me, that face I wanted to see again fer a long time.

Sure, somehow things changed. But mostly it's the grown environment we left behind. Courses of life took a turn or two. Fer sure added events in those lost times. But neither of that changed the feelin.

Ah, I didn't plan on meetin her yesterday. Not that soon. If I can call it 'soon'. The most suitable name is 'spontaneous'. We talked on the phone and *bang*, I just thought that I want to meet her. So I did. I should've done that earlier. Much earlier. I know, I need to improve. We talked and talked until the clock got jealous and put 3:xx in the mornin fer display. The first time we had a date till mornin. Most of the chat is to catch up with our lost times. Still, the time is never enough. German won and I had to leave. I had to remember that she's still someone's daughter. I don't want to make a bad impression to her father.

It's a relief I made that slight decision. The decision of goin there and meet her. A small decision but with a big impact. If I didn't, I know right now I'm feelin guilty. More or less, I'd tell myself that I'm stupid. stupid fer not tryin to take that chance. Fer not tryin. Heck her place is not that far either.

I'm pretty sure I'll get addicted to that. Travellin from my place to hers. Forget bout any typical date session. Just do it. What about today? I don't think I need to plan anythin on that now. Heh I still have goosebumps. Later.

Back on track... *smiles*..

Thing does go unexpectedly. So finally, I'm back in contact with her. Thanks to an unexpected help. A really big help. You know who you are! Well, I know what's been goin on between you and Intan but then, I don't have any intention to get involve in it. :). Still, the fact is that with your help, I can reach Intan again. I know just a "thank you" won't be enough. Maybe your cup of Starbuck later. Yeah maybe you are an angel from above ;).

After all this years seperated, me and her we're keepin in touch again. Like the old times. And we're both single. So what now? It's like what I was told yesterday, "Maybe your past experiences with your ex-es made you realise that she IS the right person after all. Maybe you have learned your past mistakes. Maybe you and her really are meant to be together.". I sure hope that it is true. Wait, that's the old me, now it's "I'll try my best to make sure it is true".

Once, one of my ex asked me, "How can you forget your past relationship so fast?". I think she didn't get it. I never forget any of it. It's just that we all need to move on. Should I shows my feelin fer the past? Ok maybe I'm lack of sensitivity about it but it doesn't mean that I'm a heartless brat. The things is just a past, cheerfull or not. Happy or less. Sure sometime it's hard to forget about someone (a nice and good person, you know you are an angel Momoe. <3 fer you always..) but don't let the current situation turn the feelins into hatred. Yeah I'm pissed off with most of my ex-es but I don't literary 'hate' them. Hey things go fer a reason or two. Heh but it's a double-edge sword too, that also doesn't mean that I like you or still wants to hear any news bout you. Get over it.

So it's hard to please everybody but it's your lucky day! I don't have that in me nowadays. What goes from now on? All the typical plannin and so on bla bla *giggles*. Ah now I'm ready fer that commitment. Not that soon though. Later ;).

Membebel..

Macam orang gila. Yup. Bukan 'macam', tapi memang dah gila kot saya nih. Ah, skema. Kata ganti nama guna 'saya' instead of 'aku'. Tapi dah memang bertahun tak pakai 'aku'. Bunyi macam kasar. 'gua-lu' lagi lembut. Heh, penjelasan yang tak relevan pada masa ni.

Pelik. Tulis blog dalam BM. Tak tau le kenapa. Saja nak ubah selera, atau sebetulnya, tengah kucar-kacir skit kepala ni. Reason? Reason tu jugak le. Nama yang dah bertahun didengar dan takleh nak lupa. Terpisah disebabkan macam-macam hal. Intan, sape lagi? Memang dah dijangkakan blog saya lepas ni takde citer pasal lain dah. Citer tu jek la. Sikit2 nama tu, sikit2 nama tu. Yup, macam saya cakap tadi, memang dah gila kot.

Last time masuk IRC, hmm, lupa dah. Lama sangat. Tapi sebab dah gila, arinih tiba-tiba jek masuk IRC. Apekejadah? Harapan kot? Harapan utk dimsg oleh Intan. Heh. Dream on. Tak masuk akal tapi buat jugak. Mane la tau kan? Sebab apa? Sebab penyiksaan ni sungguh, uhm, menyiksakan. Penantian. Tunggu dan tunggu dan tunggu. Mesti ramai tak paham kenapa. Kenapa nak buang masa atas sesuatu yang tak pasti? Ketidakpastian yang berkemungkinan mengecewakan tatkala diketahui kebenaran.

Still lagi kat IRC. Tak menaip pun dalam tu. Kepuasan sebab sekurang-kurangnyek ade gak usaha untuk, uhm, berusaha. Dok tercongok tengok orang berborak ntah apa-apa. Heh. Dulu ade gak terjebak IRC nih. Skang dah tadek mood. Masa telah mengubah keadaan. Tapi perasaan plak? Hmm. Still macam dulu.

Tak penat ke menunggu? Soalan yang selalu ditanya oleh minda kedua. Soalan yang biasa dijawap oleh alter ego yang satu lagi. Macam2 alasan. Tapi penantian tu tak pernah mengganggu perhubungan yang lain. Malah tak pernah pulak menyebabkan kesan buruk kat mana-mana relationship yang sedia ada. Kalau nak diikutkan, perkara yang sebaliknyek terjadi. Perhubungan yang sedia ada menjahanamkan penantian tu.

Adakah itu membolehkan saya dilabel sebagai seorang yang unpredictable? Seseorang yang pada bila-bila masa boleh berubah? Come on, nothin is predictable. Kepercayaan itu lebih penting.

Ni dah kali ke berapa puluh bukak email. Mengharap keajaiban terjadi. Termasuk le belek handphone. Takut sangat tiba-tiba takde coverage, atau service down, atau celcom bankrap. Padahal kalau dah memang bukan masa untuk jumpa dier, memang takkan jumpa. Tapi biase le, kepuasan berbuat sesuatu walaupun nampak silly. Tapi betul ke silly?

Ok, katakan le dapat jugak jumpa Intan akhirnyek. Tapi dier dah kawin, or bertunang ke ape ke. Camne plak? Well, still tak mengubah apa-apa. Niat ni cuma satu jek. Nak at least jumpe sekejap. Kerana tujuan itu adalah kepuasan. Kebanyakkan masa kita ni dibazirkan dalam usaha untuk hidup and instead of doin that, saya nak merasai kepuasannya. Apa yang ade dimasa hadapan? Tak siapa yang tau. Later.

Weddin went fine & about her.

My friend's weddin ceremony went just fine. Such an enlightenin moment. I nearly drop my happy tears fer reason I know not. Heh. It feels good to see a friend get married. The food is great and I spent quite some time fillin up my stomach haha. No eligible chicks I can recall though so it's not that fun anyway. Anyway, to you Shah Ridzuan and Khatijah, may the life ahead be filled with Allah's bless and happiness.

Guess what? I was so excited bout my friend's weddin, I bought quite a few of things which is unusual fer me. I bought 2 collar tees, 1 khaki, a pair of boots and a pair of shoes. Wow. Well there was a sale and I just got a bargain. I guess. When I was lookin fer a pair of jeans, I realised that my fund ran low. So no jeans fer me fer now.

Somehow, at the weddin place, there was quite a time of me bein 'alone'. I mean, the loneliness just shows. Not my time yet I guess.

I'm still waitin fer any reply from the person I long lost. It's torturin me. Anythin can happen between the time she sent her email until now. I need to know how she's been, all the things happenin around her, anythin. *sigh*. When it's just "this" close of seein each other again, I guess I just don't have that luck. I don't know why I've been waitin fer all this years, neither do my friends who knew her. I should've just get on with the life I have left. Heck I am. I do get on with it. It's just that there's a piece of a me, like an incomplete puzzle which I just need to complete. How can I put it? Words is hard and writin bout it is much harder.

She was my sweetheart. There I said it. My lover when I just finished highschool. She understands me. Her looks won't make men glance at her twice but she have this thing bout her that's just so perfect. Maybe her kindness, maybe her simple mind, maybe the way she smiles. Oh I know she have all of it. Oh why the heck I'm tellin good things bout my ex? Trust me that's rare fer me because almost all of my ex-es are a bunch of garbage. 1, it's because she IS simple minded, kind, understandin and I just like the way she smile. And the other reason, we never officially broke up. Weird eh?

Heck I know I misunderstood her back then. We were fine until a few years after that, I misunderstood her fer a moment. And after that, it all went hell. And my stupidity caused the 1st chapter of losin contact. I still didn't forgive meself fer that. I know I was stupid. I moved on back then but still I have this feelin of wantin to see her again even if we can't meet. Like I've said, even if I could see her on the other side of the road on a busy monday. Even if just fer a few seconds, it'll be enough. But it tooks years after that to actually see her again.

But at that time, we both had chosen our path, me with my gf (at that time, such a waste of time if I could spent a little of my brain cells to think bout it..) and she's with her bf. Still, I was happy. To think that although we couldn't be together, we can still talks like the good old days. It was the 2nd biggest mistake I made. I should've dumped the thrash who's with me back then and stole her from her bf. Sounds harsh am I? To think bout it, that was the best thing that could've happened but because I wanted to be a "one-women" kinda guy, I fucked it up.

Why am I pissed off? Wait, I'm not pissed off because Intan (the person I've lost contact, the old sweetheart) have a new bf. Neither am I angry at her bf (but honestly I was jealous..). I'm pissed off and still am because my gf was havin a relationship on my back. Only if I knew bout it sooner. She deleted Intan's mobile number because she got jealous. What did I do? I did nothin and say nothin. And to make things worst, my mobile got stolen a few days after that. Then she testified that she is havin another relationship behind me. So I backed off. But I lost the war because I lose Intan, again. Like what I've said, I should've dumped the thrash earlier.

Long after that, Bobby (my friend who's livin with me here in Puchong) saw Intan in KL. But then he was smart enough to NOT ask fer any numbers. *sigh*. They even had a talk. Anyway, I knew that Intan wanted to see me again too. Bobby said the details.

Then this latest email. Which I had the privilege to read only after nearly 6 month after it was sent. Why? Why this torture? What did I do wrong back then? I'm tired of hopin but I'm still chasin. I'm tired of waitin but I never want to give up. Even if she's married now. I don't want anythin else, I just want to see her. 6 months.. Anythin can happen in 6 months.

I just don't know what got into me today. I ceased to write somethin as open or harsh like this. I was afraid that I might hurt someone's feelin because I know there's people involved are readin this. But right now I don't give a hell. It's been in me fer too long. It's true anyway so why should I even care the outcome of this? Pissed off? Then fuck you!

Still, I'm waitin fer some sort of miracle. My friends told me to keep the hopes low but I don't care if I AM chasin shadows here. This hope don't die so why should I just kill it? I'll wait. Heck it's not like it's my 1st time. There, I guess this is a good therapy. Somehow it's a relief to let it out of my chest. Later.

ikan di laut, asam di darat & rebuildin website.

Oh my. Sometime things just go unexpectedly. The person who I knew fer more than 10 years, and lost contact fer more than half of the time has finally contacted me again. I guess my prayers all this years has been granted. But the email went to my Graffiti.net account and the email+web hosting have currently suspended my account fer not loggin in fer more than 60 days. All my web pages are gone and my emails were deleted. The email was sent nearly 6 months ago and the suckiness of my wifi coverage at home didn't allow me to check the emails sooner. Lucky that email didn't get deleted. Hopefully the person still uses that same email add. I'm eager to meet up with her again. Aha. Yeah the person is a she. If I'm meant to see her again, we'll meet.

I'm currently rebuildin my homepage and it's quite a pain in the ass because I can only transfer the files one by one. And fer sure there'll be some files which is missin because my offline storage fer the files went kaput (the problem with XP with my laptop a few months ago.. pfftt.). I'm in a hellofa good mood today I didn't mind at all. You can be sure the homepage will be back online in a few more minutes. Later.

MyTeam vs Malaysia, it's obvious who's the real winner..

Ah. Football. I have to admit, I have long abandoned my desire to watch any Malaysian football match since, uhm, ever. I'm not afraid to say that watchin any local team play is like watchin amateurs. So flame me. But today I'm watchin a local football match. But it's not just any match, yeah it's MyTeam vs. Malaysia's junior team.

It's now 1 goal fer each team. Who I pick to win the match? MyTeam of course. But it's ok if they lose. The team which was assembled & trained fer bout 6 months playin against the "pro". Hah. HAHA MyTeam shoot the 1st goal! Huurrrahhhh! I'm still happy fer it. Even if MyTeam lose, this scar on Malaysian team will never heal. Such disgrace. This is the harsh reality, our national teams are spoilt too much with luxury and such, they became football workers rather than football players.

Update, Malaysian team has just scored another goal. It's now 2-1 fer Malaysian and MyTeam.

Where was I? Oh about our national players. Well, I know I'm not the only one who's thinkin like that. I know many of us do. Care to tell me what's our rankin in the world now? Bottom 20? Or 40? Sad is it? It is. When MyTeam scored the 1st goal, I was excited and sad at the same time. Our "pros" against the amateurs and the latter got the 1st lead. This shows how rubbish our current football situation has gone. We can't even make a name in southeast asia. Forget about the asian cup. World cup? With the current status, don't make me laugh. Even Togo, the country I never heard before went to Germany playin fer World Cup.

What's wrong with our players? If you ask me I'd still say it's about materials and luxury. It's not rare to see a new born star went like a kindergarden's football player after gettin a Perdana V6 or somethin fer his achievement in his last match against whoever. It's like a disease, a sad plague that has poisoned our players. Do they really love the game? Nobody knows except themselves. Fer sure they love the money and fame.

So Malaysia's junior team won the game with 2 to 1. Is it somethin to brag about? Did they make up to their status? To me, they are a major disappointment. If they got a 5-0 score, then I can seriously agree that they are our pros. But lookin at the match statistics, and their opponent, they got nothin to be proud about. They lose big time. In the end, MyTeam, the real amateurs, proved that love for the game can make any player, a star. I fully agrees with MyTeam's motto: Believe in possibilities. Chin up MyTeam, you really proves us that Malaysian can play football like a pro if they try hard. Thank you fer showin us that Malaysian football still have hope of survivin.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not against our national team. Eh, wait. I am. And I will always be until our team is feared once again like the *long* good old days. Until that day, many like me will make this special match today the only local football match we'll watch.

Heh, even the Man of The Match goes to MyTeam's player. Later.

Homepage down.

Urh. It's the first time in so many years that my homepage is down (yeah this time I didn't put any link with the word because of it.) and my web folder is currently empty. Ouch. I don't know what happened. Lucky fer me I have the offline files of my homepage but I don't quite know how updated is it. Well, it's better than havin nothin. Sorry fer those who tried openin my homepage but can't. I'll try and upload the files later. Err.. later.

Countin days & bad dreams.

The doctor(s) at HKL has made the decision to cancel the planned 2nd operation fer my father. They say that the risk is too high. So they released my father and he's now back in Seremban. He's condition is somewhat, stable but.. how should I put it.. ok he don't have much time left. As the doctors put it, he cannot be saved.

I woke up around 5am today, been given a bad dream that made me nervous. It was the same dream like I had before. The 1st time I had it, I got calls from my aunt tellin me my father was sent to HKL fer brain tumor and today I had the same exact dream.

I sent my kid sister, Emma fer a trip back to Seremban today. She took a bus and in a few more hours, she'll be in Seremban. Somehow, this kind of sadness always gets into me when I see her go away. Some of you who read my homepage might have known how close me and my kid sister is. Yeah I'm a sentimental person sometime.

Bestman fer a best friend, June fer recordin and all.

It's been a while since my last blog. If I remembers correctly. My internal clock has gone haywired so I'm not quite sure the distance between the last thing I've done and now. Ah well..

What else is new? Well, where should I start. I've been savin bunch of memorised blogs and now I don't know what to write first. Oh, my kid sister is here at my home. She's on holiday and she's stayin fer a while before she go back to my aunt's house in Seremban. She came on 9th and I had to follow her back to Penang to accompany her fer her exam.

In Penang, I was breakin all the university's rule. I wear a tee and track pant which is forbidden, my hair is way longer than they approved and I sneaked into the men's hostel so that I can take a nap. Hah. It was fun no doubt about it. We arrived at around 5 somethin in the mornin, I was tired from the lack of sleep, and we went back to Puchong at 6pm. So, I ended up takin a few days off. Heck there's no installation too so the timin is not bad at all.

This 3rd June I'll be my friend's bestman (pengapit) fer his weddin. Imagine that. As far as I've remembered, this is my 3rd time bein a bestman fer someone's weddin. Not to mention bein a photographer too. This time around, I had to be both. The bestman and the photographer. The best thing is, I can have the good foods. Oh, I have to get a Baju Melayu. Lucky fer me I've already bought a few metres of textile fer my Baju Melayu. It's been a long while since I went to a tailor but then, I can use this Baju Melayu fer Hari Raya too! Heh. Not bad eh?.

Excludin this upcomin weddin, I have another 4 friends who'll get married soon. It's one of those season I guess. To those who's gettin married, congratulation fer you couples. May the bond hold you guys together fer the rest of the life and the afterlife.

Bad news. I get this feelin that this past few days was the time of destruction. Why? My jeans has been crazily torned all by itself. My boots got munched by a customer's dog (brat..) and the power window of my car stop workin smoothly. Dagnammit. Got to get a new boots, a pair (or two) of workin shoe (well I wore the ol boots to work and the poor soul commit suicide.. I understand.) and a pair of jeans and maybe a tee or two. Hangah (my 2nd guitarist) is sellin his newly bought The Black Dahlia Murder t-shirt fer a good price. He bought a size too small fer him but just fine with me. Ah I love bein thin.

Ah, June is near. The month Fractured have been waitin fer. The time we'll *hopefully* go fer recordin fer the new record. Right now we're rushin to catch up with the new songs. I still have a few songs to write the lyrics left. Even the "The Life Inside The Hole" song from our old demo got no full lyric yet. Hehe. Call me lazy. Anyway, I've been pushin all the band members fer this upcomin June's recordin. If we delay it again, then it'll all be just history. It's now or never.

I'm in the office right now, abusin the resources to write this blog and there's no job fer today. I guess it's time fer me to get back home and continue my slumber. The longest holiday ever. Hehe. Nice. Later.

Dad in HKL & 1st Page 2006 is out!

My dad is in HKL now. In the emergency care room, waitin to go fer another operation. Now to remove another tumor that doctor have recently found. He was transfered from Seremban's hospital today and my aunt gave me a call just to inform me about it. I pray fer my father's health. Hope that he'll get through it just fine. I do love him.

Fer you html freaks out there. And those who bother to know what kind of html editor I use to create my homepage. You might heard of 1st Page 2000. Yeah I use that software. Why? Because it's better than FrontPage, my html codes is clean, and it doesn't cost me a dime to download and use. Now they have a new version! Finally! Everyone rejoice! Now they have 1st Page 2006! Go get it at their website. It's at http://www.evrsoft.com. Go! Go!.

I'm kinda tired so that's it fer now. It's gettin harder to see me wrote blogs nowadays huh? Well. It's one of those time. Later.

27 + 1 = ?

Hoho. Today is the day. The same day like every year. Yeah yeah it's mine! MINE! Today is my birthday hooo! Well but then I don't celebrate it, like every year. But my sisters give birthday wish's smses so it's fine. Oh thanks to isman too. Yeah yours will always be 1 day quicker than mine. So happy birthday to you too.

What did I do fer my birthday today? Well, I work my arse's off. So busy today with doin the new car grant, busy installation schedules. I'll have the new road tax tomorrow. Phew I thought I'll never get that. So now everytime it's my bday, it'll be a reminder about my car's roadtax. What a way to remind meself. Gettin birthday wishes from my sisters and friends is enough celebration fer me. Though I'd love it if someone buy me an Ibanez Destroyer II. Haha.

So thanks to those who sent their regards. Really appreciate it. Now I'm at the end of my 'teenage' life. Now's the time to get serious with my life. Or maybe not. Blah. Who cares. Just need to enjoy it. Now where's my cake.. Anyone? Later.

How could it be???

Why?!! Wahhhh! How could they?! Boo hoo. I'm sad. Life is cruel. Not long after my last blog post, all (6 or 7) the Ibanez Destroyer basses I saw up fer bid is gone already. So there's a bunch of smilin people out there, who got the basses. And I'm not included. Waaa! How much more cruel can it get? Just when I notice that Malaysian can use paypal (but with limited features, heck who cares, as long as we can use paypal to buy stuff.) account. Just when all my dream got to do with a Destroyer, somehow. Cruel. So cruel. I need to find a buddy in the State. Ohhh.

Another accident... Gettin sick & new love.

I had yet another accident 2 days ago. This time, a car hit my bike. I have to admit that it's my fault. Let's just say that a slight misjudgement can lead to a disaster. I ended up payin a sum of RM50 fer the scratch of the Vios's front bonnet. Yeah it's a Toyota Vios against my Modenas. Heh. It's pretty clear who's the winner is. The ache on my left knee from the last accident I had is still there and this new one adds to the pain. It's really achin. I'm injured on the same knee again. A bit of bruises and no serious injury. *sigh*.

And today I'm not feelin too well. I'm gettin a flu and I guess it'll be soon till I catch a cold. My head ache and my body is shiverin. Ah it's nice to just lie down on my bed. With the headache. What else can go wrong?

It's a surprise sometime, to actually fell in love again. I never thought that I would feel that same excitement this soon. She caught my attention, with her look, with that body. Oh man. Don't get me wrong, I'm still a healthy man and it's supposed to be normal aye? I have her picture and recently I got her name. It's a 4 strings Ibanez Destroyer II.

Such a beauty huh? As you can see this one is a 1982 make. I found a black 1984 version with 2 humbuckers (AHHH! Humbucker fer bass guitar?! AHHH! They have not 1 but double humbuckers?! AHHH! Me drool..). So they have a look of an Explorer guitar. It's beautiful. The design is great. I wonder about the sound. Must be sexy.

Most of the Destroyer I saw up fer sale or bid is either in europe or USA. *sigh*. Too bad we Malaysian don't have Paypal. I really like the Destroyer. To tell you the truth, I might even sell my TR Series to buy the Destroyer. But this is between us, don't tell my TR huh. Heck I've done crazy things to get my current TR Series, so I might be out of my mind fer Destroyer too. Who knows. I love em Ibanez. It's too bad I don't have any friends in the State or I can ask them fer help bout gettin it. I know I'll be dreamin bout this bass guitar now. Ahhhhh.....

It's like when I fell in love with an Ibanez EDA. Even the near-exact blog post huh? If you're wonderin why men like me take our instruments as the opposite sex, well, my personal answer is that I'm not a gay. Later.

Am I to blame?

Here I am sittin in front of my laptop. Which despite the name, is sittin on the floor not on my lap. By the time I wrote the 2nd paragraph of this blog, I might have gone back from an installation which is scheduled fer another 50 minutes. Confusin? Don't be. Writin a blog might take a while and might take a long while. So that's why a blog is like a time machine. If the writer can tell somethin which is currently happenin, the readers (if any) will have a chance to imagine what's it like fer that specific time. Be it a minute after, or a month, or a year; this time machine will never fail. So now, I guess you, and honestly myself is wonderin what in hell I'm tryin to say. Wait, I'm still thinkin of a theme here. But all I can feel is frustration. Ok well. We got a theme now. It's about frustration.

Ok I'm wrong. It's the second chapter already and I still have another 15 minutes before I'll be off fer my next appointment. How's my work so far? It's fun most of the time. And sometime it's tickin my nerves. When that time comes, it really made me lose my appetite. Ah, preparin fer another of my 'whinin blog' eh? You better. Because this post is full of it. Or at least I hope it'll be. You see, I write what I thought on the specific moment and yeah, my mood changes in a brief so I'm not quite sure if I'll write what I originally intended to. Let's start with what had happen this past few days.

Work. Ah. Well. What is there to say? It sucks sometime to work. Infact it does show when you're workin with the customers. I'm not the 'customer relation' type of person. I'm the 'sit and do the work until it's done and get the hell out quickly' type of person. Not to say that I totally suck at communicatin with customer, heck no you can ask any of my past customers. But it's just that, I don't quite like it. And when the customer is the hyper-fussy type, the suckiness show. This past few days really showed me why I don't prefer dealin directly with customer or to make it clear, interruption from customers when I'm doin my work. Yeah we have a few hyper-fussy customers this week.

Earlier this month, I installed Streamyx fer a company. They have no IT staff (sign of bad luck) except fer 1 software eng dude. No, I'm not sayin soft-eng dudes are bad. We, the IT people whether in soft-eng, network, sys-admin or any others; most of us know our capabilities. We know what our field of expertise is. But this specific dude lack that specific instinct. So that's where it went wrong. Me, network/internet guy and him, software guy. Talkin bout network. Which quickly turned to minor debates. Inflictin messy mis-communications. Delayin my work. Boilin my blood.

He have a workin Streamyx installed. His company upgraded to a Enterprise package consistin of 1 fixed IP Address usin another telephone number. So I checked the new line, activate it and put the new modem fer the line. I asked him to test the connection and it was fine. Good. No? Nu-uh. Not yet. He got confused. Well he didn't mention that he IS confused but I know. The problem (if it's safe to call it a 'problem') is that he want to transfer the new Streamyx, replacin the old line. Well actually the solution would be to put the new line to the old modem, minor reconfigurin the modem with the new Streamyx username / password. But he kept buggin me bout LAN address which is controlled by the internal DHCP server (it's either the server or the modem/router itself.) plus some other non-related issues which can be easily solved. There was a few intense moment. Everytime I explain a solution fer his 'problems', he kept spewin nonsensical questions which made me wonder what's the relativeness of his new questions with the solutions I provided earlier. To make it worst, he is lost in his own words too. It's like he's ignorin my answers and recyclin his questions with a new additional scenarios just to make it look like the situation is really bad and there is gazillion issues. I had another customer waitin with the distant about more than an hour ride and the appointment is suppose to be in another 15 minutes. Yeah I was delayed too long already.

Ok I just got back from my last appointment fer today. Phew. Yeah it took me 5 paragraph before I got the motivation to go. Heh. Where was I? Oh yeah the delayed thingy. So after my numerous explaination and tips, he finally see a bit of the light. The questions didn't stop though. From the long tortures of listenin to his questions, I noticed that he's concerned about what replacin the line into the old DSL modem would do to the existin LAN configuration which is near to none. So I gave the same answer, yet again, which is "just put the new line to the old modem and reconfigure the old modem with the new Streamyx's login username / password" until he said somethin like "ok why don't you put the line and configure it". That's when I think I knew what's goin on. He don't know how to configure the modem.

I'd gladly help him out if he asked fer it 50 minutes earlier. But he held me fer too long already and my next customer is waitin. Fer your information, we the Streamyx Installers, our duty is to check the DSL line/signal, activate the account and test the connectivity with the DSL modem that we provide. Other than that, it's solely depend on the customer. Even if I could tweak the old modem and all, the risk is too much. I can't afford to be held responsible if anythin happens to the current network. To keep it simple, it's the internal IT staff's duty to do that. Imagine the server goin down, and blamin it on me because I was the one who laid my hands on the modem. Even if the trouble don't have anythin to do with the modem itself. Get the picture? Hey it happened to other installer before and that's why it's risky. So I tell him that and then he said, "I'm just a software engineer and I don't know bout router/modem and stuff". The magic words. One of the few things I can totally agree. It's only that he realised it 50 minutes too late. So I asked him to give the company who installed the servers fer his company a call and sort that out. I gave him a copy of the "work order" which contains all the nescessary informations needed about the Streamyx package and I left.

Then I have this other customer who when I check his computer, lack of a network card. The DSL modem we provide require a network card installed. So he started to blame me fer not mentionin it earlier when he's fillin the registration form. "Bling!". It went through me like a wasp sting. I'm the installer, not a reseller. Reseller is the one who must provide the adequate information on the requirements and such. So I tell him just that. Ironically, to think about it, I am tellin him about the required bits ain't I? So he told me he need the Streamyx quickly. Well yeah I hate repeatin the same premise twice too because if the job ain't done, I can't claim the money. It's not like I love goin to the same house a few times because it'll waste my time and the bike's petrol. So I gave him an option, he can take his computer to his favourite PC shop and get a network card installed, or if he prefer it, I can sell, install and configure a network card to him fer just RM50. He opted fer the 1st choice so I asked him to call me back when the PC is ready.

A day later, he called and I came to his house again hopin to finally get the job done. Guess what? He have this smile on his face, with the computer's CPU open and a network card next to it. Yeah he just buy a network card and want me to install it. Great. Such consideration. I felt like a fool there. Quickly I get the job done and hope that it'll be the last time I'll be facin a customer like that.

A few days later, the man call me up. Sayin that he had to reformat his PC (heh..) and now he don't know how to log into Streamyx. For your information, if the default installation is changed, like reformattin the PC, deletin the dialer, changin the modem etc; it'll no longer be the installer's responsible. The regulation is stated in the "Acceptance Form" which the customer is required to sign and given a copy to keep. How naive I was to actually think that anyone would read it. So I tell him that I'll gladly give a phone support fer that. He agreed and he call up his son fer me to teach. New dialer is made and it's all singin and dancin (I'm quotin what a customer of mine would say fer things that's ok). Well, not exactly. 3 days later, the same guy gave me a voice message early in the mornin. He said "Are you comin or not?" and I don't like the tone. 1st, I don't remember settin up a date to come to his house, and another thing is why he waited fer another 3 days to call me back. Another successfull re-formation of the poor PC? I don't know and I don't like it. So I called him back and explain the situation to him. It took me more than RM6 worth of my mobile airtime and still he's not satisfied. When I told him that I have to charge him if I came to his house, he argued that I was supposed to state that 3 days earlier. Heck we never have a conversation about "goin to my house" before. Then he said that he'll pay but he want me to come on the same day. I told him that my schedule is packed that day and because it's already Saturday, I can only come on the next Monday. I can sense he can no longer contain his temper when he said that "I'll report this to TMNet and you don't have to come, I'll just cancel the Streamyx". He was blackmailin me? A threat? Nice one. I just give him an "ok" and until now, it's the last time he ever contacted me.

Recently I got a phone call from an IT company. Which later I was told that they provided a VPN router fer the company I installed earlier. Yeah the same company with the soft-eng guy. Now this dude have a problem with his VPN router. He have to set a gateway IP address in it and he don't have the specific information. Sadly, even I don't have that information. Now this dude is persistent. He kept sayin that I have it and don't want to tell it to him. What the... All the information I gave, the work order, that's all that I have. And furthermore, a buddy of mine says that gateway IPs is randomly given eventhough the WAN IP is fixed. *I'm not quite sure fer Corporate package though. But I've installed to much bigger companies like Sharp Roxy and such, and they never have any issues whatsoever.*. So I told him to call up the Customer Center and ask if the technical staff there can help. With a grudge, he followed my tips and that was not the last time I heard about him.

Earlier this afternoon, the same guy call and asked me the same thing. The information I don't have. And he even threatened to complaint about my secrecy about the gateway IP. Pffttt. Then later that evenin, TMNet called me and asked me to come to the same company tomorrow because there's an error with the 'docket'. Yeah. Great. We're to clean up everyone else's mess. But heck I want to see that IT company guy who supplied the VPN router. I can't wait fer that and I'm tired of ignorant people. I'm tired fer bein blame of everythin which is not my fault. Or is it really my fault?

I guess I'm the one who to be blame. Maybe it IS my fault. To think of it, it might be true. Say, it's my fault that you don't know anythin about networkin. I could've stayed fer a few month to teach you about it until you're competent enough. Well it's my fault that you don't know much about configurin a DSL modem right? It's my fault that your PC got reformatted too. I should've known better than assumin that you can possibly know that your PC won't get any malicious programs. I should've stayed with you and guide you when you're surfin the big bad internet. I should recite the content of the 1 page Acceptance Form every mornin to you. At least I should give you a 6 month basic computer course so that you can use windows XP and Internet Explorer. It's my fault if your modem got struck by lightnin. I should've went to your house to unplug the telephone wire everytime the weather gone bad because eventhough I say the tip everytime after every installation, I must realise that you might not remember that at all. It's my fault your VPN router is complicated. I should've written a more easy OS fer your VPN router instead. It's my fault for not recoverin the memory of your new password which was recently lost. I should've dig deep into your mind to recover it. At least I should give you a call to remind you of your new password everytime you're goin online. It's also my fault that you need a computer to use Streamyx. I should at least buy you a computer system so that you can join the internet and enjoy the wonder of bein online. I'm so sorry. I'm a bad person.

There. I'm relieved now. It's a good feelin to actually realise our weaknesses aye? It feels good to know our mistakes huh? I should be more considerate. Later.

So I have to make a new grant..

*sigh*. The grant is still nowhere to be found. Looks like I don't have any other choice than to make a new one. The long and borin process. The torment. If you're wonderin what's the torture of havin to make a new grant is, here's the list.

1) Make a police report.
2) If the car is still under hire-purchase, ask fer a letter of permission (not quite sure, I'll find out in a few days) to print a new grant.
3) Car inspection at PUSPAKOM.
4) Print a new grant at JPJ.

Dependin on the situation, you might or might not need to give the grant to the car's finance. I asked my buddy at BCF (Bumiputra-Commerce Finance) and he said the total cost is about RM100. Yeah it's kinda cheap but then the process will take forever! Bla bla birocracies bla bla. Ah well, take it or leave it.

My hands is itchin to start my DIY engine overhaul project. Very itchy. Itchy itchy itchy. So I have to yet postpone the project until I get a new grant and renew the roadtax.

Went back to Seremban last Saturday, practised Fractured's
new songs. Hoho another 2 new songs and we'll be ready to go recordin. I'm so excited I got my pants wet. Ok seriously now all that's left is to make sure the songs is tight and to find the best studio fer our recordin (and not burnin holes in our pockets too).

Still no word bout the oversea gigs so I guess it's just a rumour. *sigh*. A friend of mine got a slot fer a metal-core gig in either Bandung or Jakarta, Indonesia. I'm tryin to look like I'm not that jealous. Damn. Later.

Stop the media lies! Now!

Are you Malaysian? A metalhead? Bored with the damn lies the media is sellin? Detained in a recent gig? Locked up fer wearin black? Want to do somethin for the community? Now here's your chance. No, I'm not askin you fer a favor. Instead, you'll do yourself and your fav music/band a favor. It's payback time.

Nowadays, it's either you'll believe the media lies regardin the 'black metal' issue or you had to believe it. As crazy and (90% percent) rubbish as those media like Harian Metro, Mastika and many others have written in their publication(s), people can and will believe it. Heck, some people do believe the 'goat blood drinks' bull anyway. Because they are not afraid to tell more lies just to boost their much needed sale (what else..). And by doing that, they hope to make those lies regarded as the truest truth. So you have to do somethin about it. If you care. If you still want to listen to other great music other than sleezy poppy and the likes.

Now there's many metal camp out there is startin to do somethin about it. Some are preparin their lawyers to sue the media etc. This is where it gets interestin. It'll be more great if you guys can help them. Metalterus has already begun their quest fer justice. There's many others like hardcore community, indie, gig organisers and indiependant record labels who's doin the same thing. So you're tired of all the media bull and lies. So now's you chance to make things right. We won't want our children to get jailed fer wearin 'NZ All Black' t-shirt in the future would we?

So, if you or your band we're wrongly featured in either by text or picture in any media publication regardin the 'black metal' issue, or you or you band were wrongly labeled as 'black metal' in any media publication, or detained or locked up fer goin to any gig recently; you can help these guys to clear up the mess and clean you or your band's name. Help yourself by helpin them. A small help can make a big change.

This is not a war against the media or the police or the authorities. If, and only if the war is already started, it's not us (the metal/indie music community) who started the fire. We're defendin our freedom to listen to any music we want, to dress as decent as we want without any color restriction, to play any type of music we want and many more. The most important thing fer me, to teach the media the value of truth in publication which is sadly lackin in their writin ethic nowadays. The power will always be to the people. And now it's time to use it.

Here's one of the advertisement on the suein process. You can also visit Metalterus for other updated information. You can also contact your favourite distro/friend fer other infos. Rot on!


Help this people sueing the metro and the police

From: First Stance Records


At first stance records. We here are working on posiblity to sueing harian metro and what grounds they should be sue. And if we found any reason that hard enough to sue them. We will need your help. Any one that have their faces printed on Jan 1 2006 Harian Metro do keep on update with us. Please forward this to everyone and do email us at firstance@yahoo.com for our database. One more issue if you wanted to sue the malaysian police over breaching your rights do contact this person who are organising group of people to perform the sueing. It is neccesary you guys to go on groups sueing rather than individual. if you might have friend who are involved do tell them about this.

Contact him for advice. He will compile the data.
En Rafil - 0123892260
or email him at rafil@disarseter.com

I forgot somethin important & Bike Accident: The Return of Lousy Biker.

Our brain is a complex thing. It's a gift that God gave us with such complexity, we barely know everythin about it. Our brain have many function, be it to compute, memorise and such. Not to forget, another gift to us human, the ability to forget.

God created everythin not without any use. Everythin has it's own purpose. Be it the smallest cell, or the big ol dinosaur. It's just with our limited capabilities, we failed to know why it's created. The same goes to our ability to forget. Imagine our live without it. We will forever be burdened by sorrows and grieves we had in life. Forever troubled by our past mistakes & errors. That's one of the reason we can forget. It's so that we can live, learn and go on with our lives. It's miraculously a usefull ability and sometime, can be the exact opposite.

Ok let's cut the story short huh. I misplaced my car's grant, and now I can't find it. I basically fergot where I put it before. To make it worst, the roadtax will expire next month. Great. Just great. Just in time fer my next roadtax renewal. I've been havin hard times tryin to recall the place where I put it. I've been searchin my home fer gazillion time, my bags, my files, even tryin to shred my pillows apart if that can help but still, the grant is nowhere to be found. And all I have in my mind is a simple clip of me holdin that grant somewhere in the house. *sigh*.

To replace it, is a major pain in the arse. The Police report, Puspakom's inspection, JPJ approval, Finance issues bla bla bla... Arghhh! It's just time and patience consumin. The tense is unbearable. If I still can't find it by the middle of this month, I have no other choice than to replace it and hope that I can live to tell you more about it.

Speakin bout life. I had an accident a few days ago. I was on my way to Klang and a bike rammed mine in Shah Alam. In the middle of a daily traffic jam. The bike hit my right side sendin us both to the ground. Lucky fer me my reflexes is good enough to stop me from slammin my body to the ground.

So what happens after that? Well, my bike have a scratch, the side mirror shattered and ironically, the bike's allignment was better than factory's default. And I have a few scratches on my left leg. That's all. The guy who hit my bike got no serious injury too. But his bike weren't sharin the same luck as he did. The fork's bent and to make it worst, he's asked me fer a compensation. Great.

So the next day, I took him and his bike to a place where a friend of mine is a regular. I got a discount and the guy buggered the 'taukeh' fer a receipt until the garage owner told him to bug off because he only give the receipt to the person who'll pay fer it, which is me.

Notice that I didn't put much details bout the accident here eh. Well, that's because I need to find my darn car's grant and that's more important! Later.

Shocked at my father's health state..

I got a call this mornin, from my kid sister. It seems that she was tryin to contact me since I lost my mobile. She said that my father went fer medical checkup and the test result is shockin. My father have a brain tumor.

That explains the current situation he's in. I'm still in shock. I just don't know what to think. But I do know that my father is strong. I wish I could say somethin that will make him comfortable. But, damn, I just don't know how to react with him. I guess all those time we're separated made me like what I am now. I do care. It's just that I don't know how to show it. So am I guilty fer that?

Enough with me whinin bout my past. I pray fer my father's safety. I'll try to be there when he need me. I'm bein honest and realistic. I'm his son.

Later.

What a week...

What a week. I lost my mobile, waited to replace it until my boss gave 1 to me 2 days ago. Can't use my old sim card because Celcom blocked it. I already paid the dues and still they need me to go to the nearest Center to reactivate the darn line. The good news is, there's none in Puchong. How bout that huh? So I have to choose between PJ and Klang. Because Klang is my work area, I don't have to think twice.

Got 2 appointment last Friday, 1 in Klang and 1 in Puchong. But then I have to follow a new guy to USJ because he's not that confident to install Streamyx. Ok fine as long as I can do my work later after that. I was thinkin bout replacin my missin sim card and reactivatin another before or after I'm done with the installation in Klang, which I've set at 4.00pm. Guess what, it was 5.15pm and I'm still stuck in USJ. It was rainin so I was soaked through the jacket I wore. Fine, I can still rush to Klang to catch up with the jobs. But no I was stuck in Shah Alam because it was rainin like crazy. After waitin fer a long while, I choose to cancel the plan and head back to Puchong. So I lost 2 plans just like that. Nice.

Tried to catch my other appointment in Puchong, but it's rained heavily there too. So I was drenched, water drippin on my pants. My shoe was like a lake. So I had that appointment canceled too. So I can't use the old sim card yet.

Called up the 2 people I supposed to do the installation fer today, tryin to set up another appointment. Got it, the earliest was at 6.00pm. So I waited, it's started to rain. Bad news. But it was still ok. So I head up to Klang, to Celcom Center. Great, it's closed already. My bad, it's Saturday and it's already 5 somethin. It rained in Shah Alam but I got my raincoat. It was ok. Called up the Klang customer then she said that she can't, need to change the appointment to Monday. Wow. Fine. Still can't use the damn sim card.

Went back to Puchong, got reappointed to do the installation at the Puchong's customer somewhere after Mahgrib. Waited in front of his house until Isyak. Called him but went to voicemail. 20cents gone just like that. Great. Went home and open up the work order, heck somebody installed Streamyx fer that Puchong's guy already. I wanted to call my boss to see if any of my teammate is appointed to do that. But hey, I can't use the sim card.

So here I am. Whinin my arse's off fer you stranger's readin pleasure. Yeah so it sucks to be alone. No one who I can spill my problems with, and seein her reaction at the same time. To hear her voice tellin me it's ok, those things I've been through, just to make me feel better. Sittin next to me when I've regained my senses, enjoyin dinner with me. And after I went home, she'll ring just to make sure I'm ok. *sigh*.. Ah wait, I can't use my damn sim card..

Later.

Another new song ready.

Satisfaction. It feels so good. Me and Fractured had a jam session 2 days ago and we filled the whole hour practicin one of our new song. I named the song 'Death Zone' and the session went great. The song changed from the last time I practice it and now the song is longer. Anyway, the song is still as intense as I wanted it to be.

I wrote the lyrics the 1st time I practice it and because it's been a long while since the song was completed, I kinda get the lyrics on and off. Haha. Well can't blame me fer that. Fer me, it's easier to memorise a lyrics when I play it with the band. Play it with my TR Series. In that situation, I can see which part is hard fer me to play and sing and focus more on practicin that specific part harder.

Fer me, this is my favourite song. Why? Because it has the tempo I wanted in a song. Fast but not rushin, catchy but technical and most of all, it's a challenge to sing and play bass with this song. Not to say that this song is very hard or I'm a great bassplayer. I'm just sayin that it's challengin because I need to improve more.

Now it's just 2 more songs until we're ready fer recordin. The original planned date fer recordin has slipped to early of June. Can't help it. Hey, we're not a full-time musician and we all have a day job to live with! And I can't wait to release the new album too damnit!

I'm still waitin fer Udin's version of Langsuyr's My Oath For Thee cover. I have the permission to change the lyrics so I need to hear the new version before I can write it. Fahmi has completed the next new song and there's a few tweak here and there. I personally hope we can practice all the songs soon because I can't wait to get in a studio.

Darn, I still have this song echoin in my head. So it must be good. Eh? Later.

JPJ: The power to arrest(?) & puppy gone.

It was a nice slumber. My mind was blank, thinkin bout nothin. Just sleeps. Oh it's so great so sleep. Until I heard a news on the TV. Yeah I sleep with the TV on. The story? The Department of Road & Transport (JPJ) wants the power to arrest people like the police. All of the sudden, I lost appetite of sleepin. What the bull are they thinkin?

It's not the 1st time JPJ has make nonsensical demands before. Remember when they say they need firearms? What the.. They lost their minds already? What in hell do they need the firearms fer anyway? Shoot a granpa on C70 fer wearin 'kopiah' instead of safety helmet? JPJ's reason: they're always in constant danger when on duty. Pfft. And now it's a bit of the same. Some people smack a JPJ officer but the officer don't have any power to arrest the brats. Am I missin somethin here? Do you? That's why we have *hint* POLICE *hint* you morons!

To me, it's more like the lust for more unnescessary power. And we all know that 'from the great power, comes a great responsibility'. Eh, the reality is 'from the great power, comes more corruptable people'. Instead of demandin nonsenses, why don't they cooperate with police or somethin. Or perhaps, they can learn how to use the 999 number when in trouble.

Seriously, I sense disaster in this excess of power if given. You don't have to think hard to imagine what's to expect from this. JPJ with firearm, with the power to arrest and detain people. Insane. Purely insane. I can imagine a brat pointin a gun to my head, askin fer my drivin license.

Imagine that. Remember the MyKad case? Where the poor fella received a summon just because he showed his MyKad when asked fer a drivin license. The guy have all his drivin licenses and God knows what else conveniently stored in the most advance Identification Card made available to the public and yet, he was punished because JPJ don't have the tool to read the data, or perhaps they just want to see the plain ol drivin license instead. It made me laugh, but it didn't last long enough to sway my mind off the ironies. We're troubled by the conveniences provided to us. Different departments of the government sector have different views on policies/technologies/laws our government has ruled.

What about the 'tinted window' issue? Can or can't we tint our window? Yeah sure there's a 'JPJ specification' for tintin window but seriously, do you think they even follow that? How many people with 'JPJ approved' window tint happily got their window's tintin ripped off and/or tickets here and there to come with the humiliation? Ok maybe Proton cars aren't allowed to have any window tintin. Not like those Japanese or European cars. 1 points fer foreign cars, 0 fer local made.

How bout the 'car modification' issue? I heard the specification was published before but now the infos is a rare sight. The reality is the same, we don't exactly know what we can or can't do to our car. Some people lives happily with their turbo-charged-2Fast2Furious-makeover car with nothin to worry about but many get a lousy ticket fer puttin a Mitsubishi logo as a decal. Funny huh? Wait until you get a ticket. Last time I heard, it's ok to modify a foreign car to our heart's content but it's a no no to Proton or Perodua's. Great. One of the great thing of ownin a car is to make it a pleasure sight and drivin experience. And so it seems that our laws are the one killin our local car industries. Stop puttin all the blames to foreign's make because if you look closer, it's our own people killin our local industries. Why the heck I want to 'own' a Proton if I can get a Hyundai and modify it to look gorgeous instead of lookin like the gazillions of other same model, not because I can't afford it, but because the law says so. I know it's like I'm swayin off topic but my man point is, the details of the law/policy and the enforcements.

The same goes with motorbike. I guess JPJ somehow think that when we buy a motorbike, after all the years ridin the bike through all the terrains and weather conditions we have here in Malaysia, the motorbike will stay in tune, performs and sounds the same like the first time we rode it. I'm in no mood to even giggle here. My friend got a summon because JPJ said that his bike was modified and the 'exhaust didn't sound like the factory default'. Go and find the funny bits there yourself. Trust me, you will lose the funny mood too. How do you expect an engine or exhaust or any machinery to sound the same after all those years? Ok, my bad, you actually can. Buy a motorbike and don't ride it ever again. Do you know that puttin a sticker on your precious bike is also illegal? Just because you didn't get a ticket fer it doesn't mean that it's legal. Some day, maybe havin a rust on your bike will make you eligible fer a ticket or two. Why? Because it's not a 'factory default'.

My words. Clear up the blurry details of the current laws/policies we have first, before makin more unnescessary and nonsensical demand. Where's the REAL specification for window tintin, car modification and many other? I know there's many other issues and those things are the main things that needed a clear and effective solution. Not a Glock or Baretta pistols. Not the power to arrest, handcuff and detain people. JPJ is goin to make an army or what? Leave the dangerous jobs to the more effective enforcement agencies like the police. Stop makin more dumb demands. I can't stand losin my precious sleeps anymore.

Ah, the puppies is gone. I called Syah and he said that the cute brats is nowhere to be found. I hope a responsible person has adopt it. Maybe the mother has come to the rescue. Gonna miss that barkin brats. Woof Woof! Later.

I got meself 2 puppies. ;) . Read on!

I unofficially adopted 2 puppies. Wait wait, before you starts thinkin bout negative things, lemme explain. It's unofficial. The poor puppies was abandoned by their mother. Me and Syah was movin his things from his old house to his new place when we saw the puppies sleepin in his parkin lot. We tried to get the puppies out of the place but as we can't touch it, it's hard. Most of the time it's us who was runnin out of the parkin lot. So, I wrapped my hand with a plastic bag and I lift the puppies, one by one and put them on the parkin lot next door which is empty.

It's my 1st time ever, holdin a puppy and I was a bit nervous. After I transfered em all, the poor creatures can't stop barkin. Sure they are hungry or somethin, but we don't have any dog food around. Might as well try givin em cat food. And so they enjoyed Whiskers. As they're eatin, I rubs their heads, tryin to make em comfortable. Although shielded with a plastic bag, I can feel their skins. It's like holdin a cat but you know it's a puppy.

To make sure them puppies don't tresspass into my friend's parkin lot again, we made a barricade out of boxes on the main gate. So the main gate was invulnerable. We know those puppies can't get through it. Except that they don't use the main gate to enter. They're small enough to squeeze through the fences. So the next mornin the puppies sleeps just outside Syah's cat cage. So I had to pick em up again and put em next door. They look happy after I gave em more Whiskers. Damn cute while they're wigglin their tails. I know the puppies is happy.

So Syah bought additional fence with smaller hole to cover up every fence we think the puppies can get through. We still give food to the puppies. And I regularly went next door to pat em and see their tails wiggle. Somehow they think of me as their guardian or master or somethin. They even rush towards me as I'm startin my bike to get back home. Cute, but it was a heck of a time to get the puppies behave and stay inside the neighbour's lot.

1 of the puppies has been taken, by an unknown person. I wonder why the person didn't take em all. The puppies is still very young, and they're clean. If nobody wants em, maybe in a few more days we have to take em to a pet shop or somethin. Or we might as well be the unofficial adopter, until they can live by themselves or until someone moved next door.

Although we muslim aren't allowed to touch dog, we don't have the rights to abuse em. Dogs are still God's creation. Animal knows about pain, so don't hurt em. I don't like dogs, but I don't hate em. And honestly I enjoyed pattin em heads, watchin em wigglin their tails and walkin towards me when they see me. I wish someone would adopt those puppies. And until that time comes, I'll be back to feed em and play with those cute puppies. Later.

I lost my mobile... DAMNIT!

*Sigh*. What a day. It's amazin how a good mood can change in a day. What happened? My mobile phone got stolen. I was enjoyin a bowl of 'cendol' in Klang and I have a feelin that my phone somehow slipped there unnoticed. After the cendol, I went to the place I want to install the Streamyx, which is more than 10km from that place. The time I arrived is the time I notice my phone is gone. So I quickly went to the cendol stall thinkin that maybe I can safely get my phone back before someone else do. Or maybe someone would be honest enough to return the phone to the cendol's stall owner.

Such a wishfull thinkin. I was hopin fer too much. Honest people are a rarity nowadays. Hey but I'd return someone else's belongin if I found it in a public place. It's not that hard if you can make someone in charge of a popular place nearby like food stall, shop or etc cooperate to make sure the real owner of the lost good can have his/her belongin back. But heck, those kind of people can only be found in movies. They don't care if the things is important or what.

So I know it's supposed to be my day anyway, the phone is nowhere to be found. I asked the stall owner if he had seen the mobile but luck is not on my side. Without my mobile, I feel like I've lost contact with the rest of the world. All the important numbers are gone. Kapuf!. Just like that. Not to mention I added another RM10 worth of airtime fer the phone while I was enjoyin the cendol. Yeah that was the last time I saw my mobile. Great. Just great. This is not how I want my day to start. I was frustrated then, and I still am now.

I went to the nearest public phone, hopin that someone would answer my mobile and givin me direction on how to get it back. Yeah, dream on. It ringed fer a few times until it went to voicemail. Great. The lucky brat turned off my phone. So be it. If he can crack my pin code when he turn on the mobile next time, he'll have a 10 bucks worth of airtime to waste. Bastard.

I went to the customer's place again, with a down feelin. Great, a customer with Windows ME, stone age CPU and no network card. What a day. After more than an hour to make the WinME behave properly after I've installed a new NIC, it rained cats and dogs. I just feel numbed. Thinkin bout my newly lost mobile. All the others just don't matter much.

So I went to the stall fer the 3rd time but the place is already closed. I stop thinkin bout anythin. So I went back home, shiftin all the other appointments to tomorrow. Damn it I'm in no mood to work. So now I'm actually out of reach. I have a few plans made and now I don't know how the hell my buddies can contact me. It's too late to train a pigeon.

This made me think 'Hell if ever I found someone else's mobile, I'll do the same like what I've experienced'. No, that's not the right thing to do. Hell no. Yeah the temptation to do bad things is somewhat hard to resist, but then, the proud feelin after you know that you done a honest deed beats em all in the end.

So, the next time you found someone else's belongin, do what you can to contact the real owner. At least pass the good to a trustworthy person who you think would be the 1st person the real owner would ask about the missin thing. Because, that person, in this case like me, would have many important numbers in the phone, saved bank account numbers etc, important reminders that can never be replace in a brief. This is far worst than havin your ex to delete some important phone number without your permission.

I'm still hopin that someone would return my mobile to that cendol stall. I know I'll go to the place again tomorrow. I know I should just forget bout it but there's too much important data inside. Fuck it, some people just sucks at honesty. Later.

DIY car project gettin better! & my dad.

Woohoo! Somethin I never expected. Well, I got a very great bargain from the owner of a food stall near my place. No I didn't get discount fer Nasi Lemak but I got a Fully Synthetic oil and 4 new NGK +3 spark plugs (equivalent of Bosch +3, yeah the thing with 3 pins or whatever the name is.) fer RM 100! I mean, well, a Full Synthetic oil alone will be more than RM200 dude! Weird huh? Bought those from a food stall. Well, not quite. His wife runs the stall and he works, uhm, I'm not sure where he works but he knows Karamjit Singh (The Malaysian rally driver.) and he's well versed in engine etc. He'll introduce me to his fav workshop where I can get genuine services / parts fer much much less. Great. He can even renew my insurance and road tax (Wow, to think that I used to do those things as a career.. Well it's not Seremban now and I don't know where's where here in Puchong.)

Eh, fergot to mention that I paid fer the oil only. So it's just 50 bucks. I told him to hold the spark plugs first until my next pay but he insisted that I use it first and pay him when I have the money. Only if my workmate pay up his debt.. I'm puttin a change of the car's timing belt as my main priority now. The car's nearly 1 years old since I bought it and I don't know if the previous owner changed the timing belt before I got it. It's better to be safe than sorry. Faulty timing belt is a disaster. So I was told.

My friend Syah has already moved to his new house. So I'll most probably be busy this weekend fer my DIY car project. Top overhaul will be the motto this week and I can't wait to get my hands dirty. I flushed the radiator today and the leftover is sure messy. Heh. Been a long time since I done that. Eh, wait, I never clean my radiator before. So that's why it's so dirty. Hmmm. Wonder what'll happens when I done the top overhaul, put in the new oil and the spark plugs. Ahhhh! It'll be good. No. It'll be superb! I'm rebuildin my car tools so I don't have much yet. I still need to buy oil filter's opener. Call me a cheapskate but I just love to do those easy things meself. Hope I don't have much appointments this weekend.

Enough with my engine fetish. This is the longest holiday I had since I first work here. Well, there's no appointment until today. But then Bobby is usin my helmet because his was stolen so I can ride my bike. I had to shift the appointments fer tomorrow, err, today (It's already Thursday today).

I went to my dad's house last weekend and he didn't remember who I am until my big sister told him. Then he slowly regains his memories bout me. He got a problem with his right eyes so now he covers it with cloth. We talked.

I'm off to sleep now. Ah, just fer the info, actually this place me and Bobby rented, is a bit haunted. More on that later.