Ah, this is my 1st time writin blog in FreeBSD. Right now I'm usin KEdit, a text editor fer KDE Window Manager. Listenin to my MP3s contained in my NTFS partition, practicin Soilwork songs fer this week's jam session with my band. I think I'm havin too many things to do daily. *Sigh*.
Obsession. I'm obsessed with many things. Music. Computer. And that's just the main category. Sometime I feels like I can't keep up with it. My band has added 6 new songs to play fer our next jam session this Sunday. We're gonna be playin a total of 17 songs includin the 6 new songs. My headphone broke so I just have to practice by hearin the songs from this laptop's speaker. Which is ok but the sound of bass is lousy. So I pretty much have to figure out the bass's note myself. Ack. Of all the band I've been playin in, this is the craziest. I mean it. In a positive way of course :). This Sunday will be another 4 hour session of non-stop madness. Phew. In fact since Nuar joined the band, our jam session has never been the same anymore. We're all under mental and physical torture jammin 4 hours everytime we practice. I mean, look at the song's list. 14 Arch Enemy's, 2 Soilwork's and 1 Iron Maiden's.
But it does keep us, as a band, tighter. I can sense that we are all more enthusiastic with our performance. Each of us is important though it's just the 4 of us. 2 weeks ago, we jammed without Bobby, and hell it was hollow, the sound is incomplete. And that session is still hauntin me. Damn. Can't wait fer this Sunday.
Man, I think I need to go to rehab. FreeBSD is ruinin my life! You hear me?! Huh! Those darn developers. They think they can get away with this? Who the hell they think they are?! I know. Mebbe they've put a text like "I'm addicted to FreeBSD" that blinks faster than my eyes can see. You know, like the banned advertisement strategy, which a text blinkin which you can't see, but your mind can. Like a hypnosis or somethin. I'm sure they did it here to. Those developers. Why? To make FreeBSD addictable. It's not my fault that I have to boot my laptop with FreeBSD everyday. No sir not me. It's not my usual self to read pages and pages and pages of FreeBSD manuals, Handbook etc. It's not even me, myself that continuously editin config files, testin some ports/userlands. It's bizarre! I don't speak jargons before! Ahh! How can they let it be downloaded fer free! Outrage! Them developers purposedly let people to grab a copy of FreeBSD, so you all can install it on your Windows PC, 1st dividin the disk space and blam! before you know it, FreeBSD owns the whole PC. You think you willingly dumped Windows but nooooo. You're wrong. FreeBSD made you do it. Trust me.
Sorry Mr. Bill. I didn't shrink the XP partition here on purpose. FreeBSD changed me. And I can't fight it. It's too strong. Everyday I'm gettin to know more about how OS works, gettin to know more about my laptop, gettin to love workin with PC. FreeBSD made me do it. The temptations of gettin things to work is overwhelmin. Day by day I'm bootin to FreeBSD more than your OS and it's not me who did it, although physically I am. It's nothin wrong with your expensive OS, your insane EULA(s), your monopolithic business strategy. No, I loved it. I loved the way I just use my PC and not knowin what I did. I loved they way your EULA makes me feel like the software I bought is yours. I loved the way I have to lose my privacy just to use your OS. I really loved it. And I keep the lovely BSoD's screenshot to prove it. I want to buy the next Win whatever that you're sellin next but, I'm too weak to resist FreeBSD. And like I've said, I've changed. So guys, try FreeBSD. Huh? No I didn't say that.
Friday, June 25, 2004
Saturday, June 19, 2004
Softer
Wanna know what? I read my mails today. Doesn't sound interestin huh? But waiiiit. Not just any email, it's my past emails. I guess my habit of keepin good emails in sent folders really is a good thing. I've this habit of savin emails I've sent and received in special folder. Like I've said, good emails. Like humor emails, emails from my ex(s). Ah, those are the times when everythin is lovely. Hehe. I'm doin a sprin cleanin on my email account when I stumbled onto those long fergotten emails. Wow, how I have changed.
Curiously, I opened one of the email from my ex. Darn, did I really said those things? Oh no, I'm not readin the 'let's breakup' mail but the one when love is still in the air. So they won't be any "You jerk, I hate you now this is my last mail don't you dare contact me again get out from my life" sentimental poem in it. I read the words I've said, yeow, the "muah-muah" bits, the "honey-darlin-sugar" namecallin (before it changed to "SoB, jerk, retard" so on.) and the sweet-talks. It made me wonder where does it went wrong. I guess the answer is, nothin is certain. Today we'll be 'smack'in the love of our live and the next day she/he'll be 'smack'in our face out of anger. Where is the guarantee in all of this? None. There is no guarantee. BUT. There's where trust takes place.
I guess everyone, I mean everyone have 'love'. Not 'love' the human bein, I mean 'love' the feelin. Come on, even the wackiest serial killer have love fer his/her pet or childrens or mom/dad or somethin else. There's even killin done in the name of love. Pfft. Pathetic. I don't mean it to the 'love' itself, I'm just pointin out to the 'killin in the name of love' issue. So, no matter who we are, we will always have that soft feelin inside us. As I read one by one the love emails I saved, I realized how much that soft feelin can change a person. It doesn't matter whether the changes that occur just have a temporary impact on that person, the main thing is that it does have an impact. Ever wonder where do this changes came from? How can we adapt to the changes like we've been trained before? Fer example, from a silent guy to a romantic person. Maybe he is not drastically transformed but he changed. From where did he learn the new self he's becomin? Ah, the beauty of it. Who knows, mebbe the loves he gets when he was a child, from his father and mother. But that's not the same love we're talkin here, in a way. Parents-and-son love is not that same as man-and-women love although the base is there. But the details, the in-depth feelin that differentiate the two category. Or maybe, he didn't changed at all, because to change is to have a new thing. How can he change if he already have love. I guess it's rediscoverin of the feelin.
The love is there, in all of us. Whether it's love fer God, love fer our parents, love fer our spouse, love fer our wonderfull planet earth and love fer gazillion of another things that man can think of. It's there. The love is naturally there. It doesn't need the english word 'love' to know that it's love nor in any other language. In another few years, if I stumbled across this blog-o-mine again. I'll remember that I have it too.
Curiously, I opened one of the email from my ex. Darn, did I really said those things? Oh no, I'm not readin the 'let's breakup' mail but the one when love is still in the air. So they won't be any "You jerk, I hate you now this is my last mail don't you dare contact me again get out from my life" sentimental poem in it. I read the words I've said, yeow, the "muah-muah" bits, the "honey-darlin-sugar" namecallin (before it changed to "SoB, jerk, retard" so on.) and the sweet-talks. It made me wonder where does it went wrong. I guess the answer is, nothin is certain. Today we'll be 'smack'in the love of our live and the next day she/he'll be 'smack'in our face out of anger. Where is the guarantee in all of this? None. There is no guarantee. BUT. There's where trust takes place.
I guess everyone, I mean everyone have 'love'. Not 'love' the human bein, I mean 'love' the feelin. Come on, even the wackiest serial killer have love fer his/her pet or childrens or mom/dad or somethin else. There's even killin done in the name of love. Pfft. Pathetic. I don't mean it to the 'love' itself, I'm just pointin out to the 'killin in the name of love' issue. So, no matter who we are, we will always have that soft feelin inside us. As I read one by one the love emails I saved, I realized how much that soft feelin can change a person. It doesn't matter whether the changes that occur just have a temporary impact on that person, the main thing is that it does have an impact. Ever wonder where do this changes came from? How can we adapt to the changes like we've been trained before? Fer example, from a silent guy to a romantic person. Maybe he is not drastically transformed but he changed. From where did he learn the new self he's becomin? Ah, the beauty of it. Who knows, mebbe the loves he gets when he was a child, from his father and mother. But that's not the same love we're talkin here, in a way. Parents-and-son love is not that same as man-and-women love although the base is there. But the details, the in-depth feelin that differentiate the two category. Or maybe, he didn't changed at all, because to change is to have a new thing. How can he change if he already have love. I guess it's rediscoverin of the feelin.
The love is there, in all of us. Whether it's love fer God, love fer our parents, love fer our spouse, love fer our wonderfull planet earth and love fer gazillion of another things that man can think of. It's there. The love is naturally there. It doesn't need the english word 'love' to know that it's love nor in any other language. In another few years, if I stumbled across this blog-o-mine again. I'll remember that I have it too.
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