Softer

Wanna know what? I read my mails today. Doesn't sound interestin huh? But waiiiit. Not just any email, it's my past emails. I guess my habit of keepin good emails in sent folders really is a good thing. I've this habit of savin emails I've sent and received in special folder. Like I've said, good emails. Like humor emails, emails from my ex(s). Ah, those are the times when everythin is lovely. Hehe. I'm doin a sprin cleanin on my email account when I stumbled onto those long fergotten emails. Wow, how I have changed.

Curiously, I opened one of the email from my ex. Darn, did I really said those things? Oh no, I'm not readin the 'let's breakup' mail but the one when love is still in the air. So they won't be any "You jerk, I hate you now this is my last mail don't you dare contact me again get out from my life" sentimental poem in it. I read the words I've said, yeow, the "muah-muah" bits, the "honey-darlin-sugar" namecallin (before it changed to "SoB, jerk, retard" so on.) and the sweet-talks. It made me wonder where does it went wrong. I guess the answer is, nothin is certain. Today we'll be 'smack'in the love of our live and the next day she/he'll be 'smack'in our face out of anger. Where is the guarantee in all of this? None. There is no guarantee. BUT. There's where trust takes place.

I guess everyone, I mean everyone have 'love'. Not 'love' the human bein, I mean 'love' the feelin. Come on, even the wackiest serial killer have love fer his/her pet or childrens or mom/dad or somethin else. There's even killin done in the name of love. Pfft. Pathetic. I don't mean it to the 'love' itself, I'm just pointin out to the 'killin in the name of love' issue. So, no matter who we are, we will always have that soft feelin inside us. As I read one by one the love emails I saved, I realized how much that soft feelin can change a person. It doesn't matter whether the changes that occur just have a temporary impact on that person, the main thing is that it does have an impact. Ever wonder where do this changes came from? How can we adapt to the changes like we've been trained before? Fer example, from a silent guy to a romantic person. Maybe he is not drastically transformed but he changed. From where did he learn the new self he's becomin? Ah, the beauty of it. Who knows, mebbe the loves he gets when he was a child, from his father and mother. But that's not the same love we're talkin here, in a way. Parents-and-son love is not that same as man-and-women love although the base is there. But the details, the in-depth feelin that differentiate the two category. Or maybe, he didn't changed at all, because to change is to have a new thing. How can he change if he already have love. I guess it's rediscoverin of the feelin.

The love is there, in all of us. Whether it's love fer God, love fer our parents, love fer our spouse, love fer our wonderfull planet earth and love fer gazillion of another things that man can think of. It's there. The love is naturally there. It doesn't need the english word 'love' to know that it's love nor in any other language. In another few years, if I stumbled across this blog-o-mine again. I'll remember that I have it too.