Another new link.

Ok I've put another link on the Blog Brother/Sister section. What's the blog about? Well you have to read it then.

http://rebellenation.blogspot.com/

Later.

Another hot basses. Yeoww!

Arghhh! Madness! I was searchin fer Ibanez Destroyer II basses on ebay when I stumbled onto a Dean. Hot damn. Me drools. Check it out!

http://www.deanguitars.com/basses.htm

Ouch. I know I'm an Ibanez fanatic but this is just too much. Itchy fingers.. I can't take it anymore! Me want oneeeeeeee! Later.

p/s: Just look at the darn Razorback. It'll tear my pants apart. Nasty stuff. On MY LIST!!! Yarrrgghhh!

Should've wrote a one-of-a-kind topic here but heck I'm bored.

B.O.R.E.D. Bored like mad. Urgh. I'm currently havin this urge of leavin all this things behind. Again. I need to get away. I really need to. Bein somewhere else. Somewhere I never been to. Some place where I can see new things. Somewhere nobody else cares. Somewhere I can get my feet wet with salty water and warm with beach sands. Ok now that narrowed the location of choice huh? No matter. The most important thing is, I need to get lost.

Here I am, sittin in the office. Me and Bobby lookin at our computers. He's in some chat room I guess. But I can't stand the songs he's playin. Arghh. It's like a mix of indo-rock and oldies and rock and pop and anime. Urgh. Well there's 1 Iron Maiden song in the playlist so it's not all bad. Wait. Now's it's the 4th rerun time of the list. Uhhhhhh.

Nothin is interestin here on the net. That explains the late mornin blog here. Gettin in and out of Yahoo!'s chat rooms meself. So it's official, I'm really bored. Been installin and uninstallin a few titles but no games are riddin this boredomness. Well all of my best picks is still in Syah's possession. Lucky brat. Speakin bout lucky, he's just a few month's left in bein a dad. Hah! Can't wait fer that too. Wishin his 1st born to be healthy, cute et cetera et cetera.

Converted my blog to Google's. So now I just need to log in usin my Gmail's account. Great. But where's the 'BlogThis' link usually found above my blog? Uh? Wait, wait. Does this mean I have to actually open up a new browser window and log in to blog? Ack! I love usin 'BlogThis'! It's so simple, clutterless, quick and, uh, simple. Please put it back. Please please.

My laptop is in my other boss's house (Ok I have a few bosses here... Sheesh.). And so is all my mp3s collection. Damn. It's hard to sleep without headphone on my ears and the songs from At The Gates, Lamb Of God, Dimension Zero, The Haunted, The Black Dahlia Murder *mumblin other names forever... and ever..* singin meself to sleep. Well at least I fell asleep much quicker now. Bah.

Oops. I've lost my interest in writin more in this post. So I guess that's it fer today. Later.

Raya and New Year in Kelantan..

Ah. Nearly forgot to tell about what happened in New Year's Eve. What? I was in Kelantan, went to one of my boss's hometown to celebrate Eid-ul Adha and New Year. Well, sort of. So here I'll tell you guys more about it.

I never went to Kelantan, although bein a Malaysian meself. So when my boss asked me if I want to follow him to his hometown, that reason alone is enough to make me say "yes". Well, another reason would be that I don't have a place to call my hometown now. Great, so then I can have a place to visit and celebrate Raya and New Year.

We move at night. Around 11 or later in the evenin. From Puchong, we went to somewhere in Batu Caves and picked a friend of my boss, his hometown buddy to be exact because they're supposed to go back to Kelantan together. Good, someone to chat with the boss so I can just have a good slumber at the back. Boy, I was wrong. So it seem that that guy needed me as the chatter to keep my boss awake while drivin so he can snooze at the back. Bah. Nearly got meself lucky there. But it was goin to be a good plan.

Don't ask me about the trip. My boss was speedin like mad, nearly went head-on with another incomin car because he was cuttin que somewhere where the only thing I can recall is darkness and some sort of forest. So he was usin a normal road instead of highways. My boss's window is stuck, he can't lower the window so I had to cope with the air-cond's torture. The view? Well, it's dark. And everytime I thought it's time to take a nap, that's when my boss steps on the pedal and speeds. Sheesh. Such price to pay fer a vacation of a sort. Bah!.

It took us less than 6 hours to arrive at Kelantan. As I woke up from a sleep I never can remember I had. The sun's risen, and I can see houses and shoplots everywhere. "At last" I said to meself. My brief adventure has begun!.

Kota Bharu was the destination. A different sight to see than other places I've been in Malaysia. One thing fer sure, there's a lot of jawi writings (Arabic letters) everywhere. Good. It's nice to test my own speed of readin the jawi. Every shop's signboard have jawi names of the shop. Even the advertisement billboard too!. Oh, speakin bout advertisement, in Kota Bharu Maya Karin wears 'tudung' (head scarf) in Celcom's advertisement. Lovely. Just lovely.

We drop my boss's buddy at his home, and went to my boss's home afterward. The warm welcome of his mother and sister made me feel like home in an instant. A 'nasi dagang' fer breakfast and a bit of a chat later, I failed to control my tireness and snoozed.

1st day in Kelantan was nothin much. As my supposedly tour-guide, my boss, spends lots of his time nappin and regainin energies he lost on the long hour drive. The food was great though. Proper 4 meals per day thingy. Maybe more. Breakfast, tea time, brunch (breakfast + lunch, I don't know why either... YUM!), lunch, more tea, dinner and not fergettin Teh Tarik session.

The next day. It was Eid-ul Adha and me and my boss just missed the Raya prayer. I know we both overslept. Maybe the snoozes yesterday ain't enough. So we had brunch and I was taken fer my 1st trip around my boss's hometown. 1st stop, his uncle's house to celebrate the Raya.

When we arrived, the 'korban' there was just over and his relatives et-cetera has just left. We missed another thing. Still, we was served with plenty of foods. Beef and even cakes. Oh before I fergot, we had cake fer brunch. Can you imagine that? If there's cakes, it surely means that it's some celebration. I'm fine with cake. But beef, and lots of it that worries me. You see, I'm allergic to meat. To everythin that has 4 legs. Tried it a few times in my life but I will always have this some sort of reaction on my skins. Allergies stuph.

Because I have no other food choices and I don't want to bother my boss about my eatin preferences, I just forced meself to indulge it. A bite here, a bite there. Guess what? I think I'm healed! No more rashes. No more vomitin. There was tiny red dots on my arms but that's all that is! I'm cured! Hurrah! Maybe this pimples thingy has shown somethin that changed inside me. I don't know. Fer sure it's Eid-ul Adha's blessin. Wow. Now I can really eat beef and meat. But because I'm still an amateur, I won't force meself to eat goat's meat or camel or anythin.

Later at night. My boss brought me to this place. A place I didn't imagine I'll be that soon. A beach at Pantai Cahaya Bulan. Used to be known as Pantai Cinta Berahi.

How was it? It was different. The waves there is much more lively and aggressive than Port Dickson or Pangkor. Feels like a place fer surfers. Well the waves is not as big as a surfer's dream it'll be but to me it's big. The sound of the waves, the smells of salt, the sight of the beach sand. Oh how I missed it so much. That was the time my mind wanders. The time I reminded myself why I love the sea so much. It was a soothin sight. My thoughts ventured out in the open sea, and I don't even know what the heck my boss was talkin about. That time, I just don't care.

Oh, I didn't tell you about my boss's cats did I? Well, he have 4 Himalayan cats and they're all sooooooooooo gorgeous! The 1st time I saw em. I just went AHHHHHHHH! Cute and cudly. But a bit too shy if I must say. I managed to get me hands on just 1 cat because the others would just love to stay away from me. Bah. Maybe next time.

Where else did I go? I went to the stadium. Had a drink with my office mate (he's a Kelantanese too.). Went to a few of my office mate's house fer the Raya. And they all serve cakes of all kind too!. And of course PCB (Pantai Cahaya Bulan)!.

On our way back to Puchong, we went to Gunung Stong (Stong Mountain). There was a high waterfall that can be seen from the road outside. The sight was so beautifull that my boss didn't hesitate takin a pit stop there. What can I say? The place is beautifull. Just magnificent. There's RM2 entry fee per person but the place is amazing. A bunch of chalet, great scenery, and not fergettin the waterfall. We was halfway (So I thought) gettin to the top of the waterfall but all three of us was shakin our legs off. Tiresome. I'm puttin that place in my list. There will be next time fer sure.

Next we went to Cameron Highland. To you momoe, BOH have a tea plantation there. It's cold up there. The sight? Wow. So many plantations. Strawberry, tea, flowers, honey bees and many others. It was like I'm in another country up there. The last time I went to Cameron was ages ago. When I was still in elementary I guess. Sorry I didn't get you any tea there momoe. Maybe another time dear?

Gettin out of Cameron Highland was another story. You can say we took a road that seems to be taken straight out of a Japanese car-driftin movie. I was excited in the first few minutes, the green sights, the cool and fresh mountain air and the windin road. But then the road went forever. As I was lookin fer the end of the road, I saw none. So I dozed off.

When I woke up, we're already in a highway and I was in dire urgent of relievin my full kidneys. In other word, I needed to pee. And fast!. I had to control my urges, nearly doin the unthinkable, like peein out of the window or somethin fer more than 10 kilos before I can dash and I do really mean dash to the toilet and end my sufferings.

Back in the car, I got voted to drive the car back. No complaints here though because I know I'm the only one who had slept the most. As we went back into the highway in God knows where, my thoughts went back to all the beautifull and amazing places I just left behind. Not forgettin the cute and cudly Himalayan cats too. Maybe next time. Later.

Saddam's dead, so now the world is a better place? Right?

Arghh! I wrote a lengthy blog just now and it went kapuff! Drats. Now I have to recall all the nasty things I wrote and write it back. Sheesh.

Luckily it's Aidil Adha, or Eid ul-Adha. Just seein the millions of pilgrims in Mecca is an extraordinary sight. The time when we remind ourselves that race, tribe, wealth and physical are nothin in the eye of God. Such a teary feelin inside. What a blessin.

Oh, before I forget, my answer fer the question above is just a simple "no". The world aren't gettin any better. Heck no. Mixed feelin fer sure. Such a disrespectful act to kill someone, be it criminal or not on Eid. I'm shocked, yes. I'm still shocked. Not because Saddam was sentence to death but by the day they execute it. How much disrespectful can they get?

Surely some will be happy about it. I know Bush and co. are. Funny though, Saddam was their closest ally in the war against Iran. The US gov backed Saddam to waste and kill young Iraqis and Iranians men in the shameful Iran-Iraq war. Hundreds of thousands of people died in that war. But not a single blame came to the US gov. Why? Because the US President is untouchable by any law? Because they're the beacon of democracy? If this is what they call a 'democracy', then I don't know what differences it has from dictatorship.

Maybe Saddam deserve it. But he's not the only criminal there is. What about the unlawful invasion of Iraq masterminded by Bush and co.? What about the lost lives of innocents and destructions that came with it? Wanna talk about 'fair trial'? Then put Bush and all the war-mongerin US Presidents in court too damn it! So tell me he's not a criminal too! To me, what he did was as filthy as what Saddam did to the Kurds back then.

I wonder why the Iraqi's court made such a rush execution fer Saddam. So I smell somethin fishy. We know US gov have influenced the whole trial process. Maybe the execution was done so quickly to avoid the known US-Iraq history of alliance uncoverin somethin more vicious than we could ever think possible? Yeah we know Saddam was backed by US gov in Iran-Iraq war. Think about that.

So Saddam is dead. But US Invasion regime is still in Afghanistan, US Invasion regime is still in Iraq and US gov policy will still allow the murders of Palestinian by zionist regime. More body counts, more dead innocents. The main picture will still be the same.

I'm tired, I didn't manage to recall many of the things I wrote earlier. Ah. Politics. Hate em but I'm in so much anger I just can't help to write about it. May we all be in the blessin of God and in His protection. World peace is not just a word to say or write. Later.

Too early for a new year's wish? heck who cares.

Hello. Happy holidays fer those who's enjoyin it. New year is just around the corner. Maybe not 'that' corner but it's close enough. Soon it's be the year 2007. Well well. Feels like there's so little things I've actually done this year. Wonder what I've left in the year 2006. I guess there's lots of it.

I'm currently in the office. Yeah look at the time there. Not workin at this hour but I wanted to use the internet so here I am. Feels like I need to write somethin fer this blog-o-mine. I got somethin to tell just now so just let me refresh my memory fer a sec huh.

Right now I'm unsubcribin meself out of a few FreeBSD maillist. The lack of time to check my mail has resulted in repeated bloats of emails in my account. Sheesh. As I'm not that active in emailin in the group (like I've ever been active before.. Hah!) and the fact that I can conveniently search the archives on the net, it was an easy choice fer me to unsubscribe. I'll get my new and shiny FreeBSD machine soon so I'm not forgettin FreeBSD at all.

So what's new fer the upcomin new year? Me? Nothin much. I still owe a few people a glass of teh tarik / nescafe etc. etc. so I can't just move on just yet. Haha. Well I think we can delay the TT session fer later huh Isman? Yeah not forgettin a few of my old friends. Ah pewek, so are you just goin to have an empty blogspot account without any blog whatsoever? Sheesh. At least change your blogspot profile frequently so there's somethin dynamic everytime after the frustration of not seein any blog in your profile.. hoho.

My buddy, the ex-guitarist of malefactor & mental phobia (heck it took me a while to recall the name of this old band of mine... bah!), the one and only Dept is finally gettin engage. Didn't get any details on that since he didn't give me any information and I just knew about this engagement thingy from Bobby. I'm not quite sure when the date is but I'll find out about it later. Wishin him all the best.

Speakin bout bands, Fractured will go fer a recordin next year. Yeah I know I've been sayin this sorta things fer lotsa times already but heck I'm wishin it's to be true too! Fahmi said he has found the best studio fer his drums track and fer audio mixing. The only problem now is to collect enough money to fund it. Still crossin my fingers on this.

I'm not sure if my bass track will get recorded in the near future, at least not around the next 6 months because I'll be stationed far from the boys soon. Not somethin that I want to but somethin that I had no choice but to obey to do. Heck. Sacrifices to fund the recordins. One way or another.

I'm gettin this pimples everywhere on my face. Damn! Nearin my 29th birthday, feelin older everyday but my face is turnin into somethin that a teenage boy would be in. Darn pimples. I don't know why it's comin out at this age. Sheesh. Now I have no choice but to put some Oxy on my face every night. BAH! I FREAKIN HATE PIMPLES. Not that I never had any but this time it's like I'm leavin highschool. Don't believe it? Believe it.

I have this feelin that I just can't cut my hair short. My face will get oily and I'll get this pimples if my hair is short. Heck I'm have pimples now and that's the reason, that's the reason why I can't have my hair short! But bosses just wouldn't agree with me. Hoooooo.

Enough with that. I'm tryin to upload my latest pic so prepare fer the nasties. Chow.

Just a Raya thingy.

Hah! Just an update to show that I'm still here and lack of time to write anythin fer this blog-o-mine. Anyway. I know it's a bit too late to say Selamat Hari Raya but heck I just said it. I guess the spirit is still there somewhere.

My raya is not bad at all. My foster family took me to many Raya trips throughout the Raya season. My sisters came to see me so it's good although I got no place to call my hometown now. Got to fill my stomach with lotsa 'nasi himpit & kuah kacang' and not forgettin 'kuih batang buruk'. Yum!

Uh.. got nothin to say right now coz I'm at the office. Got a football match comin soon and I'm the goalie. Hah! Later then.

How's everybody?

Bah. I thought of somethin before I opened this blog editor. Now it's gone. Kapuf. Sheesh. Well that ain't the 1st time anyway. So what am I gonna talk about today? Uhm. None actually. I thought I'd write somethin, even if it's nonsense just to make it clear that I'm still alive. I'm still here somehow. Hah. I exist!

We're halfway through the Ramadhan now. Yeah Raya is very much around the corner. Ok maybe a few more corners. Guess everybody's busy gettin ready fer the festive season huh? As fer me. I bought buttons fer my baju melayu. That's it. Hah! I still don't have the mood to go Raya shoppin. Neither I feel the need to get meself a new pair of baju melayu. Not last year, not 2 years ago. I don't quite sure about this year though but I'm pretty sure it'll be the same. Maybe I'll just wear that baju melayu I wore fer my friend's weddin. Maybe not.

Speakin of friends. Heck where is everybody? Shah has gone MIA. Heck mating season never ends or what? :D. I guess bein married is "hard" fer him. Ah. Puasa Karl.. puasa.. jangan lebih2.. Hehe. The last words I heard from him was "We'll go out fer a drink sometime huh?" a few days after his weddin. And it's been months now. Hehe.

How are you other guys? Isman? You there? Long time no news huh bro? Eh I know it's been a while since I last log into any messenger but it's my "free" wifi thingy.. It sucks. :/. How bout you Momoe ;) ?. Guess things are doin great huh over there in Japan? Bebehz? How are you? Hehe yeah I know I never came to any invitation you sent me, sorry bout that but heck we'll go out fer a drink sometime huh! *uuu now where did I heard that before... fer a gazillion times already?*

Ok let's see who else.. My bandmembers.. They're fine I guess. Been a long while since I last went to Seremban *yeah now it's "went" instead of "goin back" because now Seremban is no more my hometown. *sob*. Who else? Ah pewek. I have this feelin you were the one who left a comment on my previous post. I might be wrong so "maaf zahir batin" if it's not you :D. Jangan bukak periuk jek pagi2 hehe. Let's see who else.. Uhh.. Hmm.. Aaa..

Ok so I don't have that many friends. I'm thinkin bout some kind of get together someday. *someday?! someday?! Heck you've been sayin the exact thing fer.. let's see.. uncountable times already? Pfftt*. No this time it's real hehe. Sittin with my old friends. Sippin drinks and talkin nonsenses. Lookin at some booties. Hah. That'll be great huh? Well it's just the matter of time. Just tungguuuu.

It's weird to be from not havin any idea to writin half the pages away. Heh. I should've been a writer of some sort. Anyway, hope you guys will enjoy the festive season *hey puasa is a festive season too ya know?* and may it be as awesome as you want it too. Anyone have a seat fer me this comin raya? I can use someone's "kampung" to temporarily be mine *now that's supposed to be sad..*. Hah! Later.

Happy fastin.

Hola. How's your puasa been goin on? Mine's fine. Except fer a few days ago, the 2nd day of fastin to be exact. I vomited my stomach out just right before imsak. So I was left with an empty stomach fer the whole fastin day. It was somethin I ate a day earlier. I guess it was the junk food. But fastin is still fun and I'm glad mine is not yet broken even fer a single day.

Pasar Ramadhan or the Ramadhan Bazaar. Ahh. One of the nicest place. It took me a few days to find the best place with the best food. People say the bazaar(s) here is not as happenin as last year. I don't have a clue because last year I'm not livin here yet. It's ok although I miss my old place Seremban.

The food here is good too. Not forgettin the girls. Hah! One of the time that we can see (most) girls without their makeup.

Talkin bout food. I guess I still have this syndrome of buyin many food and ended up eatin just a few of it. But this year I'm spend my money more wisely. Still I have the rambang mata when I see all the choice of superbly delicious food on display. Yum. Makes me want to point my fingers at those food like a drunken cowboy.

I also noticed that my appetite has sunken dramatically this fastin season. I ate a plate of rice 2 times per day. 1 fer berbuka and the other fer sahur with the latter, thanks to my abang angkat who call up every mornin, remindin me to come to his house fer sahur. Except fer yesterday mornin where I speak on the phone while sleepin. So I missed a sahur. Heh. Wonder how much weight I'll lose this year. Enjoy your puasa folks! Later.

Fastin month is back!

Ramadhan is back. The sweetest month is here again. Happy Ramadhan to all you muslims. May this month bring us closer to our Creator.

This is my 1st time fastin in Puchong. When all my friends were back home, enjoyin their 1st Ramadhan with their families, I'm here all alone. Ah well. At least I have my foster brother's family here. How's Ramadhan here? It's ok I guess. Because I haven't leave this home since 'sahur'. Haha. The weather is not bad though. Not as hot as the previous Ramadhan.

Hmmm, so what am I gonna have to break the fast today? I'm thinkin bout my seasonal's favourite = 'Ayam Percik'. Hot rice and that alone is enough fer me. Yeah sure some 'kuih-muih'. Some? I have this bad habit of pointin at all the nice lookin 'kuih' my eyes can see and ended up not eatin any of it later. At least on previous Ramadhan, I can count on my nephews to take care of all the food. Now I have to make sure I don't buy unnescessary food. Bah we'll see in another few minutes when it's time to go to 'pasar Ramadhan'.

Ahh. 'pasar Ramadhan'.. One of the most happenin places to go. Haha. Good food, nice lookin girls around. What more can we hope fer aye? Well I'm not quite sure where's the 'pasar Ramadhan' here near my area so I better ask around.

Changed my car's oil filter and engine oil by meself yesterday mornin. Early in the mornin. I even polish the car and guess what? It rains in the evenin. Heh. Now that I know how to change the oil filter and engine oil, it'll be more cost-savin fer me.

Look at the time. Well well, I better get ready fer a 'pasar Ramadhan' invasion. Later then.

Hello world... ? *I'm still alive*

I was about to blog somethin today. Errr, supposed to be 3/4 hours ago but I was stuck with games. So I guess that can wait fer another day. How was everythin? Somethin is ok, and somethin is, uhm, somethin else. Been a potato couch fer a few days and I think I survived because of this laptop-o-mine here. Without it, I might be dead. Dead bored. In another few weeks or sooner, you guys can be sure that it'll be super rare fer me to blog anymore. No the owner of this wifi's hotspot didn't know I've been 'borrowin' her internet access, yet, but I'll be busy with the new job. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe I'll be busy with the new job but still be bloggin like usual. Or maybe I'll be busy searchin fer another new job. Or maybe my new job will be bloggin about somethin. I'd write more here but I guess this is enough fer now. Later then!

Stepped down from duty, skinnin my head & Happy Merdeka Day Malaysia!

Got a problem with 'BlogThis!' just now. Stuck with an endless cycle of loggin in(s) and word verifications that made me thought I'm THAT old and forgot my password. Bah!.

Anyway. Still stuck with doin this old job even when I've officially resigned my duties. Pfft. "Have to cover the jobs until the new guys start their duty". Whatever. It's not that I don't want to. But heck, I've resigned and everytime I go out there, got my ringgit burnt unnescessarily. Such a waste. Still, I'm doin the job until I can be sure that I don't have to. Really sure. Just make sure the claims are on time because on-the-field works are tirin. And I've resigned. Yeah I know I'm repeatin meself.

Here I am, sittin in the office probably fer the last time. Not wearin a TMNet T-shirt because I thought I've resigned. Yeah I did but actually not. So I have this new order that I have to entertain. Bah. Where am I workin next? Still with the same company but with different job. Not about Streamyx at all. Hurrah! No more grumpy customers, ridiculous call center and inadequate paycheque. This is what I call Merdeka!

I'm cuttin my hair short today. Mebbe a bit later. It'll be more to 'skinnin' my head rather than cuttin my hair. I remembered that hairstyle when I was a kid. In fact I was forced to skin my head until I was in form 3. Now I'm *cough*old*cough* and *cough*wise*cough* and I'm not sure how I'll look like in that fashion. Maybe like a rejected cast fer Prison Break. We'll see.

Happy Merdeka Day you all! Be proud to be Malaysians. Think of all the great things we have here. I'm sure we don't need to look hard fer it. Although some of us will easily forget. Selamat Hari Merdeka! Later.

34,000 fer Fractured (In my dream..) & chess fer headache.

I had a dream last night. Fractured was called to play a gig, or I think it's more to a big concert somewhere in KL. On the flyer (Ohhh the flyer is soooo cool..) they even print a statistic of a sort that shows how much crowd the specific band can bring into the concert. How much did we get? Around 34,000. And we were the 3rd lowest in all the 7 (or maybe 8) bands listed. Bah. So it's not a happy dream I know.

What else is new? Hmm. Nothin. Just sharin my dream. Hah!

Ok I had a date arranged a few days ago by my 'abang angkat's family. Pfftt I know I'm hopeless but I never knew I was THIS hopeless. Somehow it's good to know that there are people who care. Don't ask about the date because I won't tell. Currently that's not too important.

So what is important anyway? My band! Arghhh! I just realised that it's been too long since I last practice with the band. Last 2 weeks they jammed without me. 3 piece without the bass AND vocal. My bad. How bout this week? I think I need to go back to Seremban. This songs kept playin in my head and my bass keep buggin my sleeps, tellin me to practice, practice and practice.

Bobi brought his guitar so now it's much easier fer me to practice by meself. Hey it's not my fault fer the late reaction but I can't just practice with my bass without any amplifier can I?

I have to stop fer now. Got this headache on the left side of my head. Sheesh. Had a few game of chess last night and it was a long while since I played that. Haha. Later.

Lazy day & Momoe's bloggin.

Well, well. What's been happenin in my world lately? Uh, not much. Still bored with work, still stuck with no impressive social life. My head itches because I guess it's still tryin to adjust with the length of the hair. Tryin too hard I think. My bass is startin to collect dust due to my laziness to practice. I'm still stuck with a blank page in writin fer Fractured new lyric. The theme is there, somewhere in my head but I just can't get my pen scratchin.

Momoe (Ah now she have a url accompanyin her name huh.. hehe :P) has started writin blog nowadays. Hear ye, hear ye. Well, you go girl! Hope that you'll just write whatever it is and fer sure it'll be worth it. You can find her link on this blog's 'Blog Brothers/Sisters's link.

Today is one of those lazy days. I'm feelin lazy. And I like it. Ah there might be a slight turn in my life again. And this time it'll give a far greater effect to the course of my life. No, not marriage, uh not even an engagement. It has nothin to do with that. it's just somethin about ... WORK! Bah!. Later.

Cut my hair.

I took a few pictures of me yesterday. Heck I want to upload the pics but the camera's USB cable is missin. Soon I hope. It was the picture of me with my long hair a few minutes before I cut it short. Yeah now my hair is very short. I never knew my hair was so long when I saw the pictures. Hah.

If you see my small picture of the right side of this blog, you'll know that's kind of what I look like now. Maybe shorter. I don't know. I'll take a picture soon hopefully.

Plans, plans, plans. Let's see.. Okay Fractured was suppose to prepare fer recordin this month. Well we're kinda ready but late. Later.

Heart of glass...

Shattered. If a single sms will cost about 10cent, it only took about 30cents to break me. Somehow this feelin I got since last few days was right. Somehow. All this years of bein hung, without a rope; just ended. Maybe bein happy is too much to ask. For it hasn't been granted yet to me. Not eternally.

The relationship I had with Intan just ended. Just like that. No voice, just textual notification. Like a bright light, it all seems so clear today. I don't need to make meself easy anymore. I'm just unwanted. Just like that. I never got the chance to know the real reason. Except fer things like "I have a new commitment for my future and my family" which I don't have the energy to decrypt. It can mean anythin, not that I'm not interested in knowin, but the main thing is clear; the relationship ended.

I waited fer years just to know it'll end today. Like this. In my current situation. I lost the people I needed the most one by one. One way or another.

I wonder why she don't want to say it. Voice it. Say it to my ears. I can unshamely say that I'm hurt and frustrated.

When a woman is loyal, it's true love. When a man do that, they say it's stupidity. So yes I might be. Depends on your perception. Some may rejoice, happy that somehow I failed, again. Some may share the same pain I have. I just don't care.

I will still love her. Maybe forever. I'm hurt, yes, but I can never forget the good things we've experienced. The feelin of this somewhat pathetic love will consume me. I don't know. Let it be. To ease myself, I have to hate her. For which I can unshamely say I know that I can never have the heart to do so. I just don't have that strength.

May you be happy with whoever that lucky man is. No worries, I will never be a competition to him. If you somehow read this.. I just don't know what to say. Just be happy. For someday, I hopefully will. You are special.

I was ready to meet her father. I was ready fer a commitment. Was my wish too much to ask?

Longin to hear her voice...

It's been a few days since I last talk to her on the phone. The last time we talked, it was already a few days since the 2nd last time. Honestly, I miss her very much.

Her phone went kaput so there goes our daily chat. So, it's a torment. After years and years of separation, I had to do what I've been doin fer ages. Wait. And wait. I don't blame her though. I know her current condition. I know it'll be hard fer her to contact me 1st by lookin at her condition.

Still, this is drivin me nuts. Thinkin bout how long it'll take to talk to her again. I feel like I want to drive to her place but I'm not sure if it's the right time. Her father is unpredictable. I wanted to call her mother's mobile, I did the last time we talked but I don't want to bother her mother with this.

I wonder if she feels the torture like I'm feelin right now. Does she misses me like I am to her? Honestly, I'm not too sure. Because I don't know how women feels like deep inside. I've been like a loonie since a few days ago thinkin bout this. Arrghh! How I want to hear her voice so bad. If only she knows it.. Fortunately she doesn't read this blog of mine.

Ever since my father died, I'm gettin more and more lonelier. It's like that everybody else is a stranger. No, I got it wrong. I guess it's not the right word. It's like everybody else still have someone else who's more important in their lives. And fer sure they all have. As fer me, I'll just be with meself. This is the reason why I'm dyin to talk to her. But the situation is kinda not on my side.

Maybe my emotions is not yet stable. I don't know. I think so. I guess it's gettin more and more frequent to see me write some sentimental things in here huh? Ah well. Later.

My father passed away.. Al-Fatihah.

I never knew the visit to my father's house last Sunday was the last time I'll see him alive. My father died yesterday on 22nd June 2006 around 2 in the evenin. He was 56.

Like a fate, now I know why I urged myself to visit him last Sunday. Although the car have problems and I was kind of broke, I feel like I must go there no matter what. I'm still in shock.

A part of me is relieved, because he won't have to suffer anymore. I know he was in a lot of pain with the tumor. I saw the bulge on his left skull when I bath him today. It'll sadden me more if he still suffers. And a part of me think that it's too soon. It's like this is too quick. But then, God knows best. He knows what's good fer His subjects.

Deep inside of me, I'm happy because I had the chance to lower both of my parents into their graves. My late mother and today, my father. It does break me, when I put each of them gently into their graves, thinkin that it will be my last time to see their faces. The faces that molded mine. Because I'm more close with my late mother, I never thought that I'll broke in tears when I see the face of my late father. But I did. I guess that's who I really am. Deep inside of me, I'm really a gentle person.

I've lost my grandparents, my lovely mother and now my father. It all seems too soon. But I have to live with that. Nothin can bring them back. All I must do is pray fer their journey in the afterlife. All I have now is my sisters. How do I feel? I don't know. Mixed up fer sure. Life is like this. Nothin is certain in this life accept fer death. Everyone will die someday. So I have to make a good use of it. I guess I said enough. Thanks to my friends fer your condolences. Thank you fer readin.

Al-Fatihah to my grandparents and especially to my parents:

- Zulifah Bt Hj. Idris (My lovely mother. 28th January 2003.)
- Zulkiffli Onni B Abdul Ghaffar (My father. 22nd June 2006.)

Mom, dad, you know I love you. So much..

Later.

Visit my father, next her father & heat chronology, radiator revisited.

Last Sunday me and Intan went back to my father's house. It was an unplanned trip but I'm glad to have done it. When we arrived, my father was sleepin and under medication. He's thinner than the last time I saw him and I feel very sad to see his current condition. Although we rarely speak to each other and all, my heart breaks to see him suffer. I didn't get the chance to hear him speak to me that day. I don't know if he can even remember me in his current medical state. It's not that important though because I will always remember him. He's my father.

Intan is well received in my father's house. My stepmom and her seems to get along quite well in a short period of time. I know when we'll meet my sisters soon, she can cope with all of them just fine too because my family is just plain simple. It's good fer her and unfair fer me because she have an easy road but I have to face her father soon. Not a bad thing at all but that's gonna be hard. Maybe in next month though because I didn't cut my hair yet. Hehe. I need to take a self potrait before that too. Am I ready to face her family? Well, her kid sister and brother still remembers me although the last time they saw me was eons ago. I guess her mom will recognise me when she see me too. But I never met her father, not even once but I do know that her father is unpredictable and mostly 'kepala angin'. Why is this your problem? I don't know. Maybe because you love readin my blog so much? ;).

Like I've said, I think I'll go and meet her parents next month. Whoa, I'm nervous even when just writin about it. Her father is so unpredictable that even Intan herself don't know when is the best time fer me to meet him. I mean, when his mood is very very good. That man have this speculation that her daughter is probably with somebody but he don't know who. Her mom saw me a few years ago and knows that we're in a relationship again now. So that leave the man who's the only person I need to impress. Impress how? I don't know. Fer sure I don't want to get vetoed out. It'll be fine as long as he don't hate me. Hehe. If he say somethin like "I don't like that guy" then I'm in trouble. I guess we'll just have to see.

I brought my car back from the workshop last Saturday and that's when I planned to go to Seremban. It was so sudden that disasters will surely happen. And did. Changed the timing belt and the water pump. But because I was late on pickin the car up, my plan to go to Seremban was delayed to Sunday. Imagine askin her to get ready around 6 when it was nearly 7 that I was on my way to the workshop to get the car!

Then on Sunday, I noticed that the temperature was up again. This time it was more nerve breakin. Imagine gettin stuck in KL's traffic jam and the temp went up nearin the red bar. Crazy. New water pump and the temp went crazy again? This is nuts. When I did arrive near her house, I quickly check the engine and what did I found? Great, the fan went dead. Sheesh. It was then I was forced to rethink about the plan to go back to Seremban.

Thank God the weather was not that hot and it rains slowly in KL. So I made up my mind and tell meself to just go fer it. Lucky me after hundreds of call, 2 of my Seremban's friends will take a look at my radiator's fan when I arrive. So it was up to me to make sure that I can get to Seremban safely. Again, thanks to the cool weather and a stop at the Seremban's R&R (not to mention drivin below 80km/h.. Bluergh..), we made it safely.

After we went to my father's house, we went to Alon's to get him to check the radiator. He suggested that we take the car to his friend's workshop so we did just that. Looks like the sensor was out so the mechanic had to make a direct connection fer the fan. Seems like the fan was ok after all. Now the fan will never stop swirlin as long as the ignition is on. Good job fer a temporary solution. On our way back to KL, the temperature was up again, although now it's not that how. Darn. Highways is the best place to torture test your car.

So yesterday my 'abang angkat' pull out the termostat (if I got it right) and now it's gettin better. Not that hot still not as cool as I wanted it to be either. Still need to service the radiator because it's been ages since I did that. Eh. Wait. I never did that. Heh. I still need to go out and test it on a highway to be sure. Soon baby, soon. If the temp went up again, I'll put a refrigerator inside. Later.

More 'work' blabberin & car in the workshop.

Bleurgh. This 15 days has been quite of a hell. Work! What else!. The first time I managed to get less than 20 installation per cycle. How much? 6! What the.. Less installation means less income. Duh. Money money money.

Whoa. I slept while I was composin this blog. It's now 10 in the mornin. I guess I'm pretty tired with all this activities I've been into this past few days. So now that I've successfully slumbered through the writin of this blog, I forgot what I was thinkin yesterday.

Today will be quite a busy day. Hopefully I can make up fer last 15 day's loss. Like the last 15 days, it's not that the job I have is only 6, I have many installation's appointment but many of it is just a waste of time. Still the same birocratic problem. DSL line not jumpered etc. And when the place to go is far, it really wasted my time. Big time. Not to mention that some popular area has turn slow on the demand. It's one of those time.

Enough with that. My car is still in the workshop, changed timing belt, repaired the radiator etc. It's completed but I have no time to take it back home. Maybe today. Been a while since I drive that car. Accordin to the mechanic, the heat problem is gone. Hurrah! Now I can drive it fast like the old days. Later.